Oscar Film Journal: Brooklyn (2015)

Welcome back to the Oscar Film Journal, here at Enuffa.com!  We're heading back to the mid-20-teens....

And from there back to the early 1950s for John Crowley's romantic period drama Brooklyn, about an Irish immigrant starting a new life in America.  Saoirse Ronan stars as Eilis Lacey, a young woman with a go-nowhere job at a local grocery store in a small Irish town.  Eilis lives with her mother and sister and has basically no prospects, professional or romantic.  A priest who has already emigrated to New York sponsors Eilis's relocation and sets her up at a boarding house, arranges a department store job, and also enrolls her in night classes to learn accounting.  She meets an Italian-American boy named Tony and they immediately hit it off.  Everything is going well for Eilis in America, but a sudden family issue summons her back to Ireland, where her mother and friends and a well-to-do neighborhood fella named Jim Farrell all pressure her to stay, leaving her torn between her successful new life and her Irish roots.

Oscar Film Journal: Tender Mercies (1983)

And we're back with another Oscar Film Journal entry, here at Enuffa.com, once again revisiting an 80s film that got the big nod (With this one under my belt I've now watched half the 1980s nominees).

Today it's the 1983 drama Tender Mercies, directed by Bruce Beresford and starring Robert Duvall as a Mac Sledge, a former country & western singer, now a penniless drifter.  Mac stays with a friend at a roadside motel one night, they get drunk, and the friend beats him up and ditches him there.  The next morning instead of running out on his bill, he goes to the owner, a lonely widow named Rosa Lee (Tess Harper) and offers to work it off.  That leads to him becoming her employee, and later the two get married.  Mac develops a fatherly relationship with Rosa's son, filling a void left by the daughter he's no longer allowed to see.  One day a traveling young country band stops by for gas, having read a story about Mac in the local paper.  The band are big fans of his work, and over the course of a few weeks, coax him back into the music business.  At the same time Mac's daughter Sue Anne pays him a visit and the two begin to reconnect.

Oscar Film Journal: A Room with a View (1986)

Welcome to another entry in the Oscar Film Journal, here at Enuffa.com!  

Today I'm traveling back to the 1980s, and from the 1980s back to the turn of the century, via James Ivory's 1986 romance film A Room with a View, starring Helena Bonham Carter, Julian Sands, Maggie Smith and Daniel Day-Lewis.  Based on E.M. Forster's 1908 novel, ARWAV tells the story of Lucy Honeychurch, a young Englishwoman who meets and becomes interested in a free-spirited fellow countryman named George Emerson while on holiday in Florence.  The two share a conversation and an awkward kiss, but Lucy's older cousin Charlotte witnesses the incident and swears Lucy to secrecy.  Back in England Lucy agrees to marry an uptight fop named Cecil Vyse, but things become complicated when George and his father move into the neighborhood, and Lucy must decide which gentleman's company she'd prefer.

This film was released to universal acclaim and was nominated for eight Oscars including Best Picture, and, well.....I don't get it.  A Room with a View felt to me like what popcorn filmgoers think of when they think "stuffy award-winning period piece."  The source material was meant to be kind of a satirical look at well-to-do British society in the early 1900s, but for me the film didn't convey much of this humor at all, aside from Daniel Day-Lewis's portrayal being amusing; he's a hopelessly prim and proper dandy who isn't even able to kiss a girl without knocking the glasses off his face.  But other than that I didn't feel much of anything throughout this film.

Oscar Film Journal: The Red Shoes (1948)

Welcome back to another entry in the Oscar Film Journal, 2025!  

Today I'll be reviewing a classic early color film from 1948, a British production entitled The Red Shoes, co-directed by Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger.  This whimsical film is about an up-and-coming ballet dancer who becomes an overnight sensation but is quickly forced to choose between her art and her love life, by her domineering company director.  The narrative is simple and familiar, but the storytelling is handled so artfully, particularly in a stunning 17-minute ballet centerpiece, that the film defies genre and has become a favorite of many lauded directors.

Oscar Film Journal: Pygmalion (1938)

Welcome back to the Oscar Film Journal, here at Enuffa.com!  Still making my way through the 1930s to fill in the gaps....

Today I'm talkin' about the 1938 Best Pic nominee Pygmalion, based on the play by George Bernard Shaw, itself inspired by a Greek myth about a sculptor who falls in love with one of his creations, causing her to come to life.  The play and film however are about a professor of linguists named Higgins, who as a social experiment takes a poor flower girl Eliza under his wing and teaches her to be classy and sophisticated, hoping to pass her off to his contemporaries as a duchess.  Eliza agrees to the arrangement as a way to advance socially but Higgins is very callous in his training and sees her as subhuman, often brutal in his dismissiveness.  As she becomes more and more educated the two of them develop chemistry together, but Eliza also begins to assert her independence, with Higgins both annoyed and intrigued by her newfound confidence.

Oscar Film Journal: Emilia Perez (2024)

Welcome to the Oscar Film Journal, here at Enuffa.com!  Chipping away at this year's nominees....

With that in mind, let's talk about the new crime musical Emilia Perez, directed by Jacques Audiard and starring Zoe Saldana, Karla Sofia Gascon and Selena Gomez.  Emilia Perez concerns a hardworking but unappreciated Mexican lawyer named Rita, whose clientele mostly consists of sleazy businessman types for whom she manages to get acquittals despite thinking they're obviously guilty.  One night she receives a mysterious phone call offering millions of tax-free dollars to arrange an unspecified favor.  She is blindfolded and thrown in a van, and it turns out her strange benefactor is a powerful drug lord named "Manitas" Del Monte.  Manitas enlists Rita to procure a secret gender reassignment procedure so he can disappear and assume a new, fulfilling life as a woman, and also to move his wife and sons to Switzerland to ensure their safety.  The plan goes off without a hitch, but things become complicated when Emilia Perez, as Manitas is now known, wants her family back by her side in Mexico.  Rita helps Emilia establish the subterfuge that she is Manitas's wealthy distant cousin, now a philanthropist helping the families of drug cartel victims.  

Oscar Film Journal: Marty (1955)

And it's time for another Oscar Film Journal entry, here at Enuffa.com!  With this film under my belt I'm down to only five remaining calendar years where I haven't seen any of the Best Picture nominees: 1935, 1936, 1949, 1956 & 1959.

Today's subject is the 1955 Best Pic winner, which at 93 minutes holds the distinction of being the shortest film to ever take home the big trophy, Marty, starring Ernest Borgnine and Betsy Blair.  This light-hearted dramedy directed by Delbert Mann and written by Paddy Chayefsky (based on his own teleplay) is about a lonely bachelor in his mid-thirties whose siblings have all gotten married.  Marty works as a neighborhood butcher and despite pressure from his family and customers, has more or less accepted that he'll never find a nice girl to settle down with.  We learn very early in the film that it's not for lack of trying; at his friend Angie's suggestion he makes a phone call to a woman he met at a movie theater a month earlier and asks her out again, but she turns him down flat.  Marty lives with his widowed, old-fashioned mother who all but pushes him out of the house that night to go to a singles dance, and after striking out all night he notices a sad girl sitting by herself, her blind date having ditched her.  Marty and Clair spend the evening dancing, talking, walking around the neighborhood, and form a rather sweet, innocent connection despite their shared social awkwardness.  But by the next day his mother and his friends discourage him from calling her up again, entirely for their own selfish reasons.

Oscar Film Journal: Awakenings (1990)

Time for another entry in the Oscar Film Journal, here at Enuffa.com!

Here's an early-90s drama that I was interested in at the time but just never got around to seeing.  Awakenings, starring Robin Williams and Robert DeNiro and directed by Penny Marshall, is a medical drama based on true events, about a young, curious doctor assigned to the neurological disorder wing of a hospital in the Bronx.  The year is 1969, and Dr. Malcolm Sayer (Williams) discovers that all the patients in this particular group had suffered a specific form of encephalitis that rendered them catatonic.  But it turns out this catatonia can be momentarily broken by specific stimuli, for example tossing a patient a tennis ball to catch, or playing a piece of music that speaks to them.  With one patient Leonard Lowe (DeNiro), Sayer is able to communicate via the letters on a Ouija board.  He theorizes that the shared disorder of these patients is similar to Parkinson's, that their tremors became so severe they caused the patients to simply freeze up.  A Parkinson's drug called L-DOPA is administered to Leonard, and overnight he can move and speak again, after spending three decades as a prisoner in his own body.  The drug is used on the rest of the ward with similar results, but unfortunately the disease isn't such a simple one to cure.

Oscar Film Journal: The Substance (2024)

Welcome to another Oscar Film Journal entry here at Enuffa.com!  Time for a wacky one....

Today I'll be talking about the outrageous body horror/black comedy film The Substance, written and directed by French filmmaker Coralie Fargeat.  This often funny, often nauseatingly disgusting social commentary stars Demi Moore as an aging former movie star turned TV fitness host Elisabeth Sparkle.  Elisabeth has just turned fifty and is informed by her producer Harvey (a gleefully slimy Dennis Quaid) that she's being forced into retirement and replaced by a younger model.  She then learns of a new miracle medical breakthrough that allows an older person to become "a more perfect version" of themselves on a weekly part-time basis.  Elisabeth then assumes the mantle of "Sue" (a glowing Margaret Qualley) and lands the TV fitness host gig, but things start to go awry when Sue doesn't want to go back to being Elisabeth.  More plot details I will not spoil here, as it's best to know as little as possible.

Oscar Film Journal: Dead End (1937)

Time for another entry in the Oscar Film Journal, here at Enuffa.com!  Still chipping away at the catalogue of Best Picture nominees....

Today's entry is the 1937 crime drama Dead End, based on the 1935 play of the same name.  Dead End was helmed by acclaimed director William Wyler (Ben-Hur, The Best Years of Our Lives) and stars Sylvia Sidney (who you might remember as Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis's chain-smoking caseworker in Beetlejuice), Joel McCrea, and a young-ish Humphrey Bogart.  The story all takes place in a run-down Manhattan tenement neighborhood, at a time when wealthy developers were beginning to take advantage of the view of the East River and building ritzy high-rises right next to poor riverfront property.  Drina (Sidney) and Dave (McCrea) are lifelong friends who clearly have feelings for each other, but Dave has been seeing well-to-do neighbor Kay, who is also attached to a rich fellow.  Drina's brother Tommy is part of a juvenile street gang involved in petty crime and bullying, but she dreams of getting out.  An old acquaintance of Dave's shows up after a long absence, Hugh "Baby Face" Martin (Bogart), and we find out he's wanted for multiple murders and has been on the run for years, having changed his name and gotten plastic surgery.  Martin is back in town to visit an old flame in the hopes of taking her on the road with him.

Oscar Film Journal: Conclave (2024)

Welcome to another entry in the Oscar Film Journal - hey this one's a current nominee!

The Pope dies.  The Dean of the College of Cardinals must oversee the election of a new Pope, and somehow remain impartial and sequestered with the other Cardinals, while also taking into account any information that might disqualify a particular candidate, including dirty secrets the previous Pope may have kept hidden.  Such is the dilemma facing Thomas Lawrence in Edward Berger's followup to his superb All Quiet on the Western Front, a mystery thriller entitled Conclave, starring Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, John Lithgow and Isabella Rossellini.

Oscar Film Journal: Wicked (2024)

Welcome to another entry in the Oscar Film Journal, here at Enuffa.com!  We have another current nominee for ya!

Today it's the smash-hit from last Thanksgiving season, the much-anticipated film version of the smash-hit Broadway show Wicked!  Or Wicked: Part 1, more accurately.  Yes, the FIRST ACT of the two-and-a-half-hour stage show was stretched out to 160 minutes for the screen.  Jesus, Hollywood, do ya not believe in editing rooms anymore??

Anyway, this Wizard of Oz prequel was directed by John M. Chu of Crazy Rich Asians and In the Heights fame, and stars Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande as the two main characters, Elphaba Thropp (or The Wicked Witch of the West as she would later be known) and Glinda the Good Witch of the North.  But of course this film takes place before either of them earned their famous monikers, when they were just students at Shiz University ("This school is the shiz!").  Galinda Upland as she was known then was a well-to-do, popular, entitled young woman, while Elphaba was an outcast of modest means, gifted in magic but isolated from her peers due to her green skin (one of two very on-the-nose metaphors in this film).  One of the school's prominent professors (Michelle Yeoh) takes an interest in Elphaba and thinks she shows enough promise to meet the celebrated Wizard (Jeff Goldbum, playing Jeff Goldblum).  This sparks jealousy from Galinda, who has been assigned against her will as Elphaba's roommate.  The two have an Odd Couple-esque relationship before finally becoming friends, and Galinda comes to support Elphaba's visit to the Emerald City.  But all is not what it seems....

WWE Royal Rumble 2025 Review: Jey Uso Yeets the Odds

The 38th WWE Royal Rumble is in the books, and it was a solid show, better than it's been in a handful of years anyway.  There wasn't anything great on the show I didn't think, but nothing bad either.  Picking a best match and worst match is tough because everything was in the 3.5 to 4 star range.  I had some gripes about some things but we'll get to that.  It was definitely too long a show, that's for sure.  Four hours and eighteen minutes is a long time for any PPV.

The show kicked off with the women's Rumble, and I think this was the most fun match for me.  Despite less star power than the men's, this match had a lot of exciting young talent, many of them from NXT, and the match cut a good pace that kept everything moving.  Iyo Sky, Ivy Nile, Lash Legend, Jordynne Grace, and Stephanie Vaquer all looked very good.  Nia Jax got to be the Kane of this match and eliminate 9 women.  I was surprised Becky Lynch didn't return, but instead we got Alexa Bliss.  As expected Charlotte Flair ended up winning, last eliminating Roxanne Perez of all people.  Also Iyo, Roxanne and Liv Morgan all beat Bayley's record from last year, which as I said in my preview has gotten out of hand.  If you keep breaking the longevity record it becomes pretty meaningless.  They certainly didn't need to do it three times in this one match.  Both Rumbles went excessively long, this one at 70 minutes.  But it looks like Tiffany vs. Charlotte for Mania most likely, unless the plan is a rubber match with Rhea Ripley.  ***3/4

Oscar Film Journal: The Apartment (1960)

Welcome to the first Oscar Film Journal installment of 2025!  For those just joining us, my goal over the next several years is to watch every Best Picture-nominated film ever.  When I decided four years ago to undertake this.....undertaking, I'd already viewed 214 of the then 563 all-time nominees.  As of this writing I'm up to 305 out of 600 (One film from the 2nd Oscars, The Patriot, is lost and therefore unavailable).

Today I'll be talking about the Best Pic winner for 1960, Billy Wilder's romantic dramedy, The Apartment, starring Jack Lemmon, Shirley MacLaine, and Fred MacMurray.  Lemmon plays C.C. Baxter (or "Bud" as his coworkers know him), a lowly desk jockey at a New York insurance firm who allows a handful of office managers to use his apartment for their extramarital affairs in exchange for glowing job reviews, in the hope of becoming an executive.  This bizarre and rather grotesque arrangement begins to pay off with a promotion, but the catch is the company's top personnel director Jeff Sheldrake (MacMurray) wants in on the fun as well, in addition to his own copy of Baxter's key.  Baxter develops a crush on Fran Kubelik (MacLaine), one of the building's elevator operators, unaware that Fran is having an affair with the married Sheldrake, who's been stringing her along for two years, promising he'll divorce his wife.

WWE Royal Rumble 2025 Preview & Predictions

It's January and that means it's time for the annual WWE Royal Rum-- wait, it's not in January this year?  What the hell??  Yes, for the first time ever WWE's equivalent of the All-Star Game is in February for some reason.  Fortunately the lineup this year actually looks pretty good, with the men's Rumble boasting several credible combatants with a chance of winning, plus the two undercard bouts look great on paper.  The women's Rumble not quite so much.  Then again only 1/3 of the field has been announced for that one.

But let's take a look....

Women's Royal Rumble

Yeah, not much star power going on here.  You have Bayley, Iyo, Liv, Bianca and a returning Charlotte Flair, plus five other names, Nia Jax, Naomi, Raquel Rodriguez, Lyra Valkyria and Ivy Nile.  I assume the newly signed Jordynn Grace will join the fun, maybe Jade Cargill will return from injury, and rumors abound that Becky Lynch will be back after a several-month hiatus.  But this match looks on paper to be yet another sequence of entrances without much in the way of story advancement, until someone wins.  And aside from the 2023 men's Rumble that approach has plagued these events for the last several years.  I think either Charlotte or Becky wins this to set up either Tiffany vs. Charlotte (so Flair can squash yet another up-and-comer's push at 'Mania), or maybe a Becky vs. Rhea rematch from last year.  I'll go with Charlotte though.

Pick: Charlotte Flair, so she can pad her World Title wins

The History of WWE Royal Rumble (2024)

The 2024 WWE Royal Rumble was....a show.  Some stuff happened, there were some winners and losers, and the ending was the right one.

Whereas 2023's Rumble show, while not a great PPV, felt purposeful and featured one of the best Rumble matches of all time in the men's edition, 2024's felt rather obligatory and pretty bereft of memorable events, some surprise entrants excepted.  Both Rumble matches where just kinda there, and the crowd responded as such.  The hot San Antonio crowd from 2023 was sorely missed, as the St. Petersburg audience sat on their hands for a lot of the show, which dragged down large chunks of the two Rumble bouts.  The two non-Rumble matches likewise failed to light up the fans, no doubt in part because the results were a forgone conclusion.  Even CM Punk's return to a WWE ring for the first time in a decade didn't land the way it should have (which just further points to AEW executing his return better).

The History of WWE Royal Rumble (2023)

The 2023 Royal Rumble was a large improvement over the previous year's, where two deserving winners earned their WrestleMania title matches (sadly only one actually got their win at 'Mania but that's another conversation), and a major angle took place at the end of the show to set up the main event at Elimination Chamber.

For the first time in seemingly forever, the men's Rumble match had actual stories woven throughout and was designed to set up numerous WrestleMania matches, which is really the bare minimum that should be expected for any Rumble match.  If you just spend a little time creating and/or furthering individual conflicts and sprinkle those things across the hour-long Rumble match, that automatically makes it stand out from the others.  It gives everyone a reason to become invested and makes the 60-plus minutes fly by.  WWE did this in the men's Rumble in 2023.  This Royal Rumble was for me a top-five Rumble match, boosted by the work of Gunther, who entered at number one and was the last man eliminated, breaking the longevity record for a 30-man Rumble (Bryan Danielson still holds the overall record but that Rumble was a 50-man field).  Brock Lesnar entered surprisingly early and after a dominant few minutes was even more surprisingly ousted by Bobby Lashley, thus setting up their Elimination Chamber singles match (which sucked).  Rey Mysterio no-showed his number 17 entrance and it became apparent when his son Dominik entered at 18 wearing Rey's mask that he was attacked backstage (in reality Rey was injured the night before on Smackdown, but this was a pretty good way to cover it up).  Other standouts included Sheamus and Drew McIntyre, who teamed up for most of their time together and looked dominant, Ricochet and Logan Paul, who provided one of the coolest-looking spots ever in a Rumble match, a simultaneous springboard leap that resulted in a massive midair collision, and of course Cody Rhodes, who made his triumphant return at number 30 and survived a brutal seven-minute finale with Gunther to win the whole thing.  This is how you book a Royal Rumble match.  Sadly it was the opening contest and the show never reached these heights again.  

Participants: Gunther, Sheamus, The Miz, Kofi Kingston, Johnny Gargano, Xavier Woods, Karrion Kross, Chad Gable, Drew McIntyre, Santos Escobar, Angelo Dawkins, Brock Lesnar, Bobby Lashley, Baron Corbin, Seth Rollins, Otis, (Rey Mysterio), Dominik Mysterio, Elias, Finn Balor, Booker T, Damian Priest, Montez Ford, Edge, Austin Theory, Omos, Braun Strowman, Ricochet, Logan Paul, Cody Rhodes

Final Four: Cody Rhodes, Gunther, Logan Paul, Seth Rollins

Long Man: Gunther (1:11:40)

The History of WWE Royal Rumble (2022)

Ah WWE circa 2022, a company without highs or lows, where every PPV (ahem, premium live event, a phrase no real human being will ever use in actual conversation) is steeped in mediocrity and there's no reason to get invested in anything because the company will just screw it up anyway.

The 2022 Royal Rumble fits the above description to a tee.  A bunch of just-okay matches, in one ear, out the other, the details of which will all be forgotten by WrestleMania.  No one gets over except the one or two established stars the company wants to push, thus both Rumbles felt like everyone involved was just killing time.  Was it a reasonably entertaining way to spend four hours?  Sure.  Was anything here even close to being a great match or having any historical significance?  Nope.  Even the first-time WWE Title match with a big-fight feel was more of the same ol' shit with repetitious action and a bad finish.  WWE could fuck up a can of Pringles.

Speaking of bad finishes, the show started with Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins, in a very well-worked Universal Title bout where Seth, dressed in his old Shield gear and entering through the crowd to the group's classic theme, resided fully in Roman's head.  No matter how badly Roman beat him down, Seth kept smiling and asking for a fist bump.  Roman couldn't stay on his game and Seth dominated much of the bout.  They did the old spot from 2016 where Roman went for a spear and Seth countered into a Pedigree for a near fall.  This was a very good match.  And then the finish happened.  Roman locked in a guillotine choke, Seth struggled to get to the ropes but fell short and went limp.  The referee lifted Seth's arm for one, two, and on the third drop, Seth's hand fell on the bottom rope.  Yes, the referee inadvertently put Seth's hand on the rope, and then demanded Roman break the hold.  Ummm, what?  How can that be a rope break if the referee is the one who put his hand there?  Roman, the heel, rightly refused to break the choke and was disqualified.  So Seth got legitimately beaten and Roman did something stupid to cost himself a sure victory.  Who was this designed to get over?  This was yet another very good WWE match ruined by stupid WWE booking.  And sadly it was the best thing on the show.  

The History of WWE Royal Rumble (2021)

2021: The Royal Rumble comes to Thunderdome, one Rumble match is used to create a new star, the other is used to.......give an old star a win he didn't need....

Tropicana Field - 1.31.21

The 2021 Rumble took place in front of the virtual Thunderdome crowd and was a very mixed bag of a show, par for the course with WWE circa 2021.  Both Rumbles were entertaining.  One elevated two very deserving young stars and it felt like the company's priorities were in the right place.  The other didn't elevate anyone and boasted the oldest field in Rumble history, with the average age being 39 years old and OVER HALF the field being over 40.  We got a mostly very good Last Man Standing match with a hilariously botched ending, another psychology-free Goldberg match, and a passable women's singles bout.  So not a bad show, but not one that will stand out in the Royal Rumble annals either.

The show opened, mercifully, with the Goldberg match.  I was glad to see them get this one out of the way.  It was of course the usual two-minute finisher fest.  Remember in 2003 when Goldberg actually did five or six different moves?  The two guys started before the bell, with Drew McIntyre shoving Goldberg and hitting him with a spear.  Both guys rolled out of the ring and Goldberg returned the favor, spearing Drew through the ring barricade.  They teased Drew not being able to continue, but he demanded the match be started officially.  Goldberg went for a spear but Drew hit the Claymore and covered him.  Goldberg kicked out, becoming only the second guy to do so, after Brock.  Goldberg hit a spear and jackhammer, Drew kicked out.  Drew hit another Claymore and pinned him.  Goldberg was visibly winded after roughly three minutes of activity.  Goldberg shook Drew's hand and said he passed the test.  Oh, I'm sure Drew was overwhelmingly flattered that the two-move guy now respects him...  This was fine as a dumbass finisher match, but why does the company keep doing these?  Fucking pointless. 

Anyone else tired of seeing this same match over and over?

Next up was Sasha Banks carrying Carmella through a solid women's match for the second time.  Still this wasn't bad.  Carmella's valet Reginald interfered a few times, mostly to catch Carmella as she fell out of the ring.  Late in the match Carmella hit a tope and landed on her face, an absolutely brutal-looking landing that she was lucky didn't leave a mark.  She hit a pair of superkicks but immediately fell victim to the Bank Statement and tapped.  That ending was pretty sudden.  But this match was alright. 

The History of WWE Royal Rumble (2020)

The 2020 Royal Rumble served as the coronation of Drew McIntyre, over a decade after his WWE debut.  In that regard it was a success, if Drew as the top babyface is your cup of tea.  I was underwhelmed.....

The show kicked off with an overlong bells & whistles brawl between Roman Reigns and Baron Corbin. This pairing has never done anything for me and this was no different. They fought in the ring for several minutes and then brawled all around the stadium; since it’s such a big venue this undoubtedly helped bloat the running time. Near the end of the match Roman locked Corbin in a porto-crapper and tipped it over. Uhhh, okay. Then both guys ended up on top of a dugout, where Reigns finished him with the punch/spear combo. At least the finish was fun. This didn’t need more than 15 minutes but it got 21. Shane vs. Miz at Mania 35 was more entertaining. 

The women’s Rumble was shockingly early in the lineup. This was definitely better than 2019’s women’s Rumble but not a great one, and the wrong woman won.  This should've been Shayna Baszler's big moment given her buildup the previous few months.  On the plus side though, Shayna was booked like a monster for her four minutes, and Bianca Belair looked like a huge star in her 33-minute run. Each woman tossed out 8. Other than that we got a helluva run from Beth Phoenix, who withstood a bad cut on the back of her head and made it to the final three after tossing out her bestie Natalya (payback for 2018), and a lot of overly quick eliminations of NXT stars.  It came down to Shayna vs. Charlotte, and rather than go the logical route set up at Survivor Series they had Charlotte head scissor Shayna over the ropes to win. Charlotte would go on to challenge Rhea Ripley for the NXT Title, a match I was really excited about until Charlotte got to beat her, thus derailing Ripley's monster push.  Well done, guys.  This Rumble was fine but I didn’t like the result at all, and history agrees with me.

Participants: Alexa Bliss, Bianca Belair, Mighty Molly, Nikki Cross, Lana, Mercedes Martinez, Liv Morgan, Mandy Rose, Candice LaRae, Sonya Deville, Kairi Sane, Mia Yim, Dana Brooke, Tamina, Dakota Kai, Chelsea Green, Charlotte Flair, Naomi, Beth Phoenix, Toni Storm, Kelly Kelly, Sarah Logan, Natalya, Xia Li, Zelina Vega, Shotzi Blackheart, Carmella, Tegan Nox, Santina Marella, Shayna Baszler

Final Four: Charlotte Flair, Shayna Baszler, Beth Phoenix, Natalya
Long Man: Bianca Belair (35:29)

The History of WWE Royal Rumble (2019)

Well it wasn't the blow-away event it looked to be on paper, but the 2019 Royal Rumble was a fine show with a slew of very good matches and nothing bad.  Hard to complain about that.  Even the pre-show stuff was solid (Check out the blistering Cruiserweight 4-Way especially).

The 2019 Rumble was all about building the two big babyface WrestleMania challengers (who both ended up winning and subsequently started dating, becoming WWE's new power couple).

The show kicked off with a pretty great Asuka-Becky Lynch bout that was rock solid technically and built to a series of traded submission attempts.  After a brutal-looking Asuka cradle neckbreaker off the apron to the floor, Asuka and Becky made their way back into the ring for a climactic stretch where both women attempted to tap the other with her own finisher.  Finally Asuka scored an Asuka lock, and turned it into a Cattle Mutilation-esque variation by bridging on top of Becky for the tapout win.  This match was probably my favorite on the show.  Excellent stuff that made Asuka look really strong but showed Becky could keep up.  I was quite sure we hadn't seen the last of Becky.  Asuka was unfortunately depushed like crazy after this, and took most of the year to recover as they finally built up a rematch.

Next up was the one match I didn't care about, The Bar vs. Shane & Miz.  But this was fun.  Cesaro and Sheamus worked a stiff match as usual, Miz stayed away from most of it, and Shane took some good spots while dishing out a few of his own.  I still have a problem with the near 50-year-old non-wrestler Shane going toe-to-toe with actual wrestlers, but he made it entertaining at least.  The spot of the match was Shane going for a coast-to-coast on both Bar members only for Cesaro to stand up and catch him for a Giant Swing - very cool counter.  Finally Miz hit Cesaro with the Skull Crushing Finale and Shane landed a shooting star press to win the belts.  This title win was designed to build to a Shane-Miz feud, which ended up being horrible and made Miz look like a total geek when he couldn't ever beat his 48-year-old non-wrestler rival.

The History of WWE Royal Rumble (2018)

Time for one of the better recent Royal Rumble shows....

Wells Fargo Center - 1.28.18

2018 kicked off with a helluva good PPV, as WWE continued its rediscovery of how to put on a fun Royal Rumble.  TWO in fact.  For a while there the Rumble had become one of my least favorite events on their calendar, but by 2018 it had fully returned to form, with one of the best examples of the gimmick, plus an historic first women's edition.  There was nary a bad match on the main card, both Rumbles delivered, there were memorable moments abound, lots of fun surprise entrants, a clear direction for WrestleMania, and a monumental debut to end the show.  Hard to ask much more of a Rumble PPV.

First up, oddly, was the WWE Title match.  AJ Styles defended against Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn, in a crisply worked 16-minute match.  Nothing spectacular here, but the three of them worked well together and AJ even got to bust out his moonsault-reverse DDT combo (the first WWE instance of this move I remember seeing).  Styles retained after countering an Owens pop-up powerbomb into a roll-up, but Owens and Zayn protested since Owens technically hadn't tagged into the match.  Solid opener.

Next was the Smackdown Tag Title match (SD kinda got shafted with this lineup; both of their bouts went on first), as The Usos defended against Chad Gable & Shelton Benjamin.  Energetic, fast-paced and well-booked, with a shocking two straight falls for Jimmy and Jey, this was a fine undercard match.  I liked that the first fall was long and the second fall was surprisingly short - it was realistic and defied the typical structure for a 2/3 Falls match.

The men's Royal Rumble was third out of six, which was pretty baffling until the end of the show when it was made clear why.  I daresay this was the best Rumble match since 2004.  The booking of this match was predictable in a good way; everyone who should've gotten to shine did.  The final five ended up being the five most plausible winners.  Finn Balor entered at number 2 and made the final four, having lasted 57+ minutes.  And of course Shinsuke Nakamura got his WWE career-defining moment by outlasting both John Cena and Roman Reigns to win the whole thing (after 44 minutes of in-ring time).   This is how you book a Royal Rumble match in 2018.  Other notes: The returning Rey Mysterio looked better than he had in ten years, Andrade Almas and Adam Cole both had good showings and it was great to see the NXT guests not geeked out on the main roster for a change (Almas's main roster career is another matter unfortunately).  Anyway, this was a fantastic Rumble match that ranks up there with the 1992 and 2004 editions.  WWE's follow-up on Nak's big moment of course sucked, as he failed to dethrone AJ Styles for the title at four consecutive shows, two of those matches going to a draw.  But for one night it looked like Nak was poised to break the glass ceiling.

Participants: Rusev, Finn Balor, Rhyno, Baron Corbin, Heath Slater, Elias, Andrade Almas, Bray Wyatt, Big E, Sami Zayn, Sheamus, Xavier Woods, Apollo Crews, Shinsuke Nakamura, Cesaro, Kofi Kingston, Jinder Mahal, Seth Rollins, Matt Hardy, John Cena, The Hurricane, Aiden English, Adam Cole, Randy Orton, Titus O'Neil, The Miz, Rey Mysterio, Roman Reigns, Goldust, Dolph Ziggler
Final Four: Shinsuke Nakamura, Roman Reigns, John Cena, Finn Balor
Long Man: Finn Balor (57:30)

The match given the unenviable post-Rumble spot was Seth Rollins and Jason Jordan vs. The Bar.  This was easily the weakest match on the show and since Jason Jordan was injured and still hasn't returned, the whole angle was pointless, but this was inoffensive.  And The Bar regained the straps as they should have.  So no complaints there.

The History of WWE Royal Rumble (2017)

WWE returns to the Alamodome after 20 years and delivers another strong showing....

The 2017 Rumble (the first to be a four-hour show) and its main event took a lot of flak at the time, mostly due to the booking which was admittedly pretty unexciting.  No one new was positioned to be "made" with this match; it centered around the "safe" choices and we didn't get the expected Samoa Joe debut or a Kurt Angle return.  However we did get a very unpredictable Rumble with a larger field of potential winners than we'd had in a very long time.  There were easily ten or so guys who could reasonably have walked away with the WrestleMania title shot, and that's nothing to sneeze at.  Aside from that, the Rumble match had a couple little surprises, like Tye Dillinger entering at #10 and Jack Gallagher making the most hilarious use of an umbrella I've ever seen.  Other highlights were Jericho as the long man once again (lasting just over an hour), Braun Strowman pulling a 1994 Diesel and killing a buncha guys before being eliminated, Goldberg besting Brock Lesnar for the second time, and Roman Reigns eliminating The Undertaker and setting up their WrestleMania match.  This Rumble match was not unlike the 2001 version in some ways - the surprise entrants were minor but the match had a good amount of star power and primarily served to reinforce the established names.  The real issue with this Rumble match, as is often the case with WWE, was the follow-up.  Randy Orton won the match, turned on his supposed friend (and by this time WWE Champion) Bray Wyatt, and proceeded to have the worst feud of 2017.   I had few gripes about this Rumble match itself - it was fine in a vacuum.  It unfortunately led directly to a road of shit.

But what really made this show stand out was the undercard.  I say without hesitation this was the finest Rumble undercard WWE has ever produced.  Two stellar Title matches and two solid title matches, with not one stinker on the entire PPV.  One can't really ask for more than that out of a Royal Rumble undercard, which generally trends toward uneven at best.

The Women's Title match opened the show and this was the absolute right move to get the San Antonio crowd invested.  Charlotte vs. Bayley felt like the first match in a series, and they got a respectable 13 minutes to tell a story.  This match didn't blow the doors off the place but it wasn't designed to - it felt just about right for its place on the card, and the finish was novel if sudden - Charlotte nailed Natural Selection on the ring apron before rolling Bayley away from the ropes and scoring the pin.  Good opener.

Next up was the first of two monster Title bouts, as Kevin Owens defended against Roman Reigns in a No DQ match with Chris Jericho in a shark cage above the ring.  Unlike their lackluster Roadblock match the month before, this was an energetic, wild brawl that made great use of tables and chairs (though Jericho got less on-camera time for comedy than I was hoping for).  After multiple table powerbomb spots, Reigns seemed a lock to win the Universal Title when Braun Strowman appeared and decimated the unpopular Samoan, allowing Owens a cheap win and leading to a months-long feud between them.  This was a fun bells & whistles kinda match.

The weakest match of the night, by default, was the Rich Swann-Neville Cruiserweight Title match.  But there was nothing wrong here, other than the fact that the audience still didn't care at all about these Cruisers.  Neville captured the Title in 14 minutes with The Rings of Saturn and went on to have easily the best title reign to date of this version of the Cruiserweight division before leaving the company several months later.

The show stealer, as expected, was AJ Styles vs. John Cena for the WWE Title.  Goddamn this was great.  AJ and Cena delivered a strong showing at 2016's Money in the Bank and an insane spotfest at Summerslam, and tonally this match fell somewhere in the middle.  There was more storytelling here than at Summerslam but the traded finishers and kickouts were still prevalent.  Cena finally avenged his two losses to tie Ric Flair's 16-time Championship record, but Styles was kept looking really strong in defeat, kicking out of multiple AAs and only falling to a double AA.  This ranks right up there with the best Rumble undercard matches in history.

So I had almost no complaints about this show as a standalone PPV.  Every match was good or great, the crowd was hot, the Rumble was unpredictable.  Aside from the mostly terrible aftermath of this show there was little to find fault with.  A pretty great Rumble PPV.

Best Match: AJ Styles vs. John Cena
Worst Match: Rich Swann vs. Neville
What I'd Change: I'd have debuted Samoa Joe and had him murder a buncha guys in the Rumble
Most Disappointing Match: I wouldn't say anything was really disappointing
Most Pleasant Surprise: That the Rumble winner was under 40

Overall Rating: 9/10

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2016

2018

The History of WWE Royal Rumble (2016)

2016 - Roman Reigns is struggling to get over, so the company crowns a hot young new champion.....who is 46 years old....

Royal Rumble - Amway Center - 1.24.16

In another case of low expectations paying off, I really enjoyed Royal Rumble 2016.  For the first time in close to a decade WWE presented a Rumble card that had nary a bad match, plus a very fun Rumble match that felt like it shook things up a bit.  The main event scene heading into WrestleMania 32 may have been the drizzling shits but starting here the undercard began to take a more interesting shape, thanks in part to a huge new addition to the roster.

The opening match on this card stole the show, as hated rivals Dean Ambrose and Kevin Owens squared off in a Last Man Standing match for the I-C Championship.  It's well-documented that I'm usually not too fond of the LSM stipulation, but these guys a) didn't waste much time on near-falls (or near-counts?) and b) worked in some clever spots (like Owens rolling out of the ring at the last second and landing on his feet to keep the match going).  They got a solid 20 minutes to create a really strong fight and told a great story of two guys who really despised each other.  Damn good stuff there.

These two know how to stage a fight

The New Day-Usos Tag Title bout was next, and while I was sick of seeing these two teams fight each other, it was a solid outing - well-worked and energetic, and The New Day retained to keep their historic Title run going.

The Kalisto-Alberto Del Rio US Title match was a fun little underdog story; Kalisto had beaten Del Rio for the belt the previous week only to lose it back a day later (I hate when they do that), but he managed to wrest the championship back on this show in a solid eleven-minute bout.  Del Rio would go back to being booked alongside his League of Nations pals before exiting the company again several months later.

Next up was the Divas Championship, which again was a well-worked little match.  Charlotte defended against Becky Lynch in a match nowhere near as good as these two were capable of, but still light-years better than anything since the Trish Stratus era.  2016 would see a major upturn for the main roster women, and this was a pretty good start.  The finish was silly but I actually kinda liked it.  Becky snared Charlotte in the Dis-Arm-Her, but Ric Flair tossed his jacket over Becky's head, distracting her long enough for Charlotte to hit a match-ending spear.  The post-match angle got my engine all revved up, as Sasha Banks stepped up and challenged Charlotte, rekindling their feud from NXT and beginning a main roster rivalry that would last the whole calendar year.

Now for the Rumble match, where WWE Champion Roman Reigns entered at #1 and needed to outlast all 29 opponents in order to retain.  I can't overstate how refreshing it was for the Rumble to be fun to watch again.  After five straight Rumble matches either devoid of star power or full of confounding booking decisions, it felt so good to see multiple people get time to shine, multiple stories play out, and an ending that (while I had reservations about it) made sense on some level.

This moment is STILL surreal for me

The big story for me was of course the debut of AJ Styles.  Seeing Styles in a WWE ring was absolutely surreal.  When he entered at #3 I feared the worst - a three-minute cameo followed by a dump-out at the hands of Reigns.  But AJ got nearly thirty minutes and got to eliminate some guys before being tossed out by Kevin Owens, and the Orlando crowd LOVED him.  Not a bad debut for one of the best pound-for-pound wrestlers in the world.  Thus began one of the best years of AJ's legendary career, and a hugely successful WWE tenure.

The other stories included Brock Lesnar vs. The Wyatts, which was meant to lead to Brock vs. Bray at 'Mania before that plan was scrapped, and the surprise return of Sami Zayn, who eliminated Kevin Owens and kicked off the next chapter of their amazing feud.

Finally we had the match-ending storyline, where Triple H somewhat predictably entered at #30, out for revenge against Roman Reigns.  And the crowd was almost entirely on Hunter's side.  That's not so good for Reigns' prospects as a top babyface.  Also not good for Reigns' fan support was taking Reigns out of the match for half of it - surely he would've looked stronger and more sympathetic if he'd lasted the full hour only for Hunter to swoop in and steal it.  Instead an injured Reigns WALKED to the back, sat out of the match for thirty minutes, and then came back toward the end.  Hunter tossed Reigns out and then turned his attention to the other finalist, Dean Ambrose, for whom the crowd erupted when he nearly won.  Once again a Rumble match clearly demonstrated the disconnect between WWE and its fans when it came to Roman Reigns.

Participants: Roman Reigns, Rusev, AJ Styles, Tyler Breeze, Curtis Axel, Chris Jericho, Kane, Goldust, Ryback, Kofi Kingston, Titus O'Neil, R-Truth, Luke Harper, Stardust, Big Show, Neville, Braun Strowman, Kevin Owens, Dean Ambrose, Sami Zayn, Erick Rowan, Mark Henry, Brock Lesnar, Jack Swagger, The Miz, Alberto Del Rio, Bray Wyatt, Dolph Ziggler, Sheamus, Triple H
Final Four: Triple H, Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, Sheamus
Long Man: Roman Reigns (59:48)

Sorry, did I wander into the year 2000 by mistake?

The 'Mania main event was of course the lukewarm-at-best Triple H vs. Roman Reigns match, which went on too long and ended with Reigns predictably regaining the WWE Title, to the delight of no one in attendance.  Whatever....

This Royal Rumble made me considerably more optimistic and intrigued for WrestleMania season, in and of itself a major improvement over Royal Rumble 2015.  And it was a damn enjoyable night of wrestling to boot.

Best Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens
Worst Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto, by default
What I'd Change: I would've called an audible and had Ambrose win the belt, then had Reigns turn on him and challenge him at WrestleMania
Most Disappointing Match: Nothing really
Most Pleasant Surprise: That I actually enjoyed a Royal Rumble card again
Overall Rating: 7.5/10
Better than WrestleMania 32, Summerslam '16 and Survivor Series 2016? - Probably, about even, and no.


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2015

2017

The History of WWE Royal Rumble (2015)

For the second year in a row the wrong guy wins the Rumble match, and WWE eats a plateful of shit...

Royal Rumble - First Union Center - 1.25.15

For the second straight year Vince McMahon's stubborn tone-deafness backfired on him at the Royal Rumble.  The egregiousness of the booking was even worse than 2014's Rumble, and here's why: at least in 2014 an argument could be made that WWE didn't realize how badly Batista's comeback and Rumble win would be received.  I mean, those of us with the capacity for logical thought knew Batista's return wasn't going to galvanize the fanbase like Vince hoped, and that 2014 was clearly Daniel Bryan's time.  But WWE realized they'd made a mistake and worked diligently to correct it, and eventually we got the WrestleMania we deserved.  But WWE learned nothing from this fiasco apparently, as you'll see.

Before I go on any further about this turd of a Rumble match, let's recap the undercard.

The Ascension experiment fell on its face out of the gate, as the fans didn't buy these two generic-looking Indie-style midcarders as the second coming of the Road Warriors.  But no matter, they still got a decisive win over The New Age Outlaws.  This stunk.  Moving on.

Another tag match followed, this one a WWE Tag Title match between The Usos and Team Mizdow.  Not bad but not much more than a run-of-the-mill RAW match.

Third time's the charm?  Not so much.  The Bella Twins faced Paige & Natalya in the third consecutive tag match on this show, and while probably the best bout so far, this also wasn't much to tell the grandkids about.

Amazingly, a memorable and awesome match broke out in the semi-main slot, as WWE Champ Brock Lesnar defended against John Cena and Seth Rollins.  Man, what a stunningly worked match.  All three guys wrestled like this was the main event of WrestleMania, packing the bout with non-stop action, near-falls, and high spots.  Lesnar dominated early with German suplexes galore (including a double GS on Rollins flunkies Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury) before being put through a table by Rollins mid-match.  Rollins would then turn in a career performance, nearly defeating John Cena for the Title if not for Lesnar's third-act comeback.  Lesnar finally finished off Rollins by countering a Curb Stomp with an F5, retaining the Title and capping off his best match since SummerSlam 2013.  One of the best Triple Threats I've ever seen.

Had the Rumble match been anywhere near as good as the three-way this PPV would've been saved.  Alas it wasn't good.  At all.

The History of WWE Royal Rumble (2014)

Vince McMahon's tone-deaf booking bites him in the ass, and one of his top stars abruptly ends his WWE career....

Royal Rumble 2014 - Consol Energy Center - 1.26.14

The 2014 Rumble PPV is a show that could've been remembered as one of the great ones had they just changed the final ten minutes.  WWE had a great story to tell but in their infinite wisdom they simply opted not to tell it, that is until their audience demanded it.  That story was of course The Journey of Daniel Bryan, who had been held down for months by The Authority and repeatedly screwed out of the WWE Title.  It seemed inevitable that Bryan was to win the 2014 Rumble and challenge for the belt at WrestleMania 30.  But instead the out-of-touch Vince McMahon insisted on bringing back Dave Batista as a surrogate for the unavailable Rock (In what universe is Batista a suitable early-2014 replacement for The Rock, in terms of broad mainstream appeal?).  Big Dave was instantly pushed to the moon and slated for a 'Mania showdown with Randy Orton, but there was just one problem - no one wanted to see that.  

More on that in a minute, but first let's discuss the excellent show opener.  Daniel Bryan had been feuding with The Wyatt Family for three months, and said feud included a brief and totally illogical heel turn by Bryan, who joined the Wyatts for two weeks.  This was intended to last longer, but the fans rejected it wholeheartedly, not at all wanting to boo Bryan.  Bryan would then reveal the whole thing as a ruse and get a measure of satisfaction by singlehandedly beating the crap out of all three Wyatt members.  This feud was seemingly over at this point, and logically Bryan would've moved on and refocused on the Championship.  Instead though, the company booked him for a singles match against Bray.  To be fair, this was one helluva match.  Intense, hard-hitting, and full of nice spots.  Bryan brought his A-game as usual, and Wyatt proved he could work a strong main event-level match.  Wyatt got the win, which again made little sense - as the blowoff to this kind of feud the rising babyface should generally emerge victorious.

Daniel Bryan delivers Sister Kick-in-face

Next up was the return of Brock Lesnar after a five-month layoff.  I know I'm not alone in this opinion, but WWE's handling of Lesnar over the first three years of his return was abysmal.  They bring back this massive PPV draw, job him out to Cena in his first match, have him fight Triple H exclusively for his next three matches (none of which were very good), book him in a spectacular one-off match with CM Punk, and then for this Rumble book him opposite The Big Show, with whom his previous matches were middling at best.  So out of six matches Lesnar only had two first-time opponents, and twice fought guys he already feuded with in 2003.  What sense does that make?  Wouldn't you want to book him against as many new opponents as possible to get a dozen or so dream matches out of his limited schedule?

This match consisted of Lesnar attacking Show with a chair for ten minutes and then finishing him off in two minutes of official match time.  Utterly pointless.

Lesnar would of course go on to defeat The Undertaker at WrestleMania (another guy he already fought in 2003), destroy John Cena for the WWE Title at SummerSlam, lose to Cena by DQ at Night of Champions, and disappear with the Championship for four months.   He was used more effectively in 2015, fortunately.

The History of WWE Royal Rumble (2013)

It's a Punk-Rock Rumble!

Royal Rumble 2013 - US Airways Center - 1.27.13

Speaking of The Rock showing up, the 2013 edition was mostly built around his in-ring return which was announced months earlier when he declared himself the #1 Contender for the WWE Title.  Yeah, he just showed up on RAW the previous summer to announce that he'd be challenging the WWE Champion at the Rumble.  Not sure how that works, where a wrestler can call his shots just cuz he's more famous than the others.  Anyway this Rumble was light years better than the 2012 edition, featuring a solid undercard and a decent Rumble match.

Up first once again was the World Title match (In what universe does a World Championship earn prestige by always going on first?) between Alberto Del Rio - fresh off a horribly ill-conceived babyface turn - and The Big Show.  This Last Man Standing match was decent, but the company's desperation in finding a Hispanic star to take up Rey Mysterio's mantle was showing.  Del Rio was and is completely unsuited to playing a heroic character.  He got over as a heel by acting better than everyone else.

Next was a strong Tag Title match as Champions Team Hell No faced The Rhodes Scholars.  This was at the height of Daniel Bryan and Kane's chemistry as unlikely partners, and they had a fine match with Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow.

It's like Superman vs. The Thing

The History of WWE Royal Rumble (2012)

The 2012 Rumble was notable for one solid match and the final ten minutes.....

Royal Rumble 2012 - Scottrade Center - 1.29.12

What a phoned-in show this was.  Considering the company had two excellent World Champions in January 2012 they sure put on a shoddy Rumble PPV.  An undercard with only one really good match (which was underwhelming), and a Rumble match featuring one of the worst lineups in history.  Let's examine this turd.  God, even the poster for it sucks.

The show opened, as so many PPVs of the time did, with the World Title match.  New Champion and smarmy dickish heel Daniel Bryan defended in a steel cage against two of the biggest men on the roster, Mark Henry and The Big Show.  The match told a good story and much of it consisted of Bryan using any weasely tactic possible to evade a toe-to-toe fight.  But at under ten minutes and with two massive opponents Bryan was hardly put in a show-stealing position.  This was okay, and the right guy won.

The obligatory Divas match was next as Beth Phoenix and Natalya (dubbed The Divas of Doom) teamed with the Bella twins against Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Alicia Fox and Tamina Snuka.  The DoD were the primary focus of the division at this point and seemed poised for a good heel run which would lead to a Beth vs. Natalya match at WrestleMania.  Alas none of that came to fruition and Natalya was saddled with an "uncontrollable gas" gimmick (who wouldn't get over with that?) while Beth got the privilege of being pinned cleanly by talk show host Maria Menounos at 'Mania 28.  Lovely.  This match was what it was, i.e. five minutes of "meh."

The History of WWE Royal Rumble (2011)

The Rumble match expands to 40 participants, while the undercard delivers strongly....

Royal Rumble 2011 - TD Garden - 1/31/11

I'd call this show one of the better Rumble PPVs of the last ten years.  It was a streamlined four matches and helped elevate a handful of new stars.  Though with one change this PPV could've been off-the-charts awesome.

The opener was an epic World Title match between Edge and Dolph Ziggler.  This was Ziggler's first PPV Title match and he and Edge were given plenty of time to breathe and tell a good story.
Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero added the stipulation that if Edge used the Spear he would lose the Title, which added an intriguing wrinkle.  After 20+ minutes of action Edge retained.

The second Championship match pitted WWE Champ The Miz against former Champion Randy Orton.  This was a fine Title match, but as with 1998 and 2002 it was a wasted opportunity to elevate a rising babyface.  John Morrison had won a Ladder Match in December for a shot at the WWE Title.  Morrison and Miz had a built-in history as former tag partners, and booking them at The Rumble seemed a no-brainer.  Instead though, that match happened for free on RAW, and was easily the best match of early 2011.  They should've included Miz-Morrison on this PPV exactly as it occurred, especially since Randy Orton would be in the Rumble match anyway.  Regardless, Miz-Orton was still good.

Yeah Punk with the assist!

The one throwaway was a four-way Divas Title match - Natalya vs. Layla vs. Michelle McCool vs. Eve Torres.  The feud here was Nattie vs. LayCool, so Eve's inclusion and eventual Title win was pretty nonsensical.  Whatever.