DeflateGate, or How The NFL Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Mob (Mentality)

(Editor's Note: The following statements are the opinion of Enuffa Contributor Dan Moore and do not necessarily reflect the views of Enuffa.com or its management.............ah, who am I kiddin', he's 100% correct.)

   
FULL DISCLAIMER: I am from South Boston, Massachusetts. The Bay State. The home of revolutions and tea parties. I am an unabashed Boston sports fan. I love the Sox, Celts, B’s and of course the Pats. I’ll try to be unbiased in this piece but that’s almost impossible as we’re living in bizzaro world with this particular subject so my opinion is a tad skewed. You’ve been warned. Also, I’m gonna swear. A lot.
   
The NFL has laid down Thor’s fucking hammer on the most successful franchise of this millennium. In the last 15 years, The New England Patriots have won the AFC East 11 times, been to 9 AFC championship games, 6 Super Bowls and have won the big game 4 times, including this year. They are, without a doubt, the cream of the crop of the biggest sports entity in the world. They are also being dragged through the mud by that same sports entity.

Pictured: Current Patriots status

                         
As the whole fucking world knows, in the most recent AFC championship, the Indianapolis Colts got ripped to goddamn shreds by the Pats. And everyone outside of New England wants you to know it was because pretty boy Tom Brady took some air out the footballs so he could throw them better. That the PSI of the footballs was 2 pounds less than it should have been. In a game they won 45-7. In a game where the Colts told the NFL before the game that they were suspicious of the Pats ball-handling practices (heh). In a game where the balls were re-inflated at halftime, and the Pats actually scored more points. This is what this controversy has stemmed from. A complete and utter blow out game.

Then they were investigated for months by independent lawyer Ted Wells, and his report dropped last week. The report states that the locker room attendants and TB12 himself had tampered with footballs to get the requisite PSI that Brady needed to cheat his way to fame and fortune, evidently. I gotta be honest, before this shit happened, I had never even heard of PSI. And if you say you have, you’re one of two things…a liar or a fucking blimp pilot.

Pictured: Current NFL integrity status

                                     
Never has the air pressure in footballs been an issue. The shit has literally never been brought up before. It’s fucking INSANE that this has been an issue at all. No one has ever fucking cared about it in the past, but because it’s the Patriots, because of their past success, it has been blown out of proportion to a level of craziness mine eyes have never seen.

The Wells report is a document so convoluted and lacking in actual evidence as to be laughable. There’s no actual evidence in the report at all that points to Brady being complicit in the act of deflating any footballs. Christ, there’s no actual evidence to show that deflating of footballs even took place. In fact, the goddamn document SAYS SO.

They sit there and tell us “we got nothing” and somehow that’s good enough to smear the good name of one of the best quarterbacks EVER and suspend him 4 games? What fucking planet am I on?

Another sticking point that annoys the piss out of me on this whole report is the fact that the dude they are witch hunting, Tom Brady, NONE of his testimony is even included in the report. They interviewed him for a day and not one quote from that meeting is in the document. You would think that maybe there would be perhaps a sentence in there by the very man they were trying to destroy. But nope. Not a thing.

The whole report is a flimsy takedown of a man and an organization authored by people with grudges against them. Its evidence is a bunch of hearsay and science that actually goes against what they were trying to prove. It’s as if they had no training at all.  I can’t even imagine what kind of shyster lawyers they got down at NFL headquarters. Is this even legal??!?!?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95JxdHv-Bcs

So they dropped the hammer on Brady and the Patriots with ‘recollections’ and ‘assumptions’. This is a complete jaw dropper of a punishment from that fucking goober of a commissioner, Goodell. He’s trying to make up for the sins of his non-actions in the Ray Rice, Greg Hardy and domestic violence situations by this complete overreaction to squishy footballs. It’s a “Hey, we fucked up discipline to actual incidents, but now we’re going to come down hard on everything, ok American people? We’re all good now”.

Brady and his team will appeal this and it most likely will get some or all of his suspension removed, but the damage is done. Regardless of the outcome, every dickhead fan of other teams will say he cheated and the Super Bowls are all tainted. Nevermind about the other teams that have been caught redhanded cheating, such as the Chargers

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/10/21/chargers-facing-sanctions-for-illegal-use-of-stickum/

or the Panthers/Vikings

http://espn.go.com/blog/minnesota-vikings/post/_/id/11218/nfl-aware-of-game-ball-incident-during-panthers-vikings

or the fucking Jets who had a coach trip an opposing player on the other fucking team

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Video-Jets-coach-trips-Dolphins-player-during-g;_ylt=A0LEVv6vEVJVIlMAafAnnIlQ;_ylu=X3oDMTE0b3Q0YmhmBGNvbG8DYmYxBHBvcwMxBHZ0aWQDRkZYVUkyMV8xBHNlYwNzcg--?urn=nfl-294916

Nah, those teams suck so no one actually gives a shit about them. But hey, there’s no actual evidence against Brady and the Pats for this deflate nonsense - THROW ALL THE FUCKING BOOKS AT THEM. Burn ‘em, kill ‘em, send Belichick to ISIS, give Gisele neverending cheesecakes. FUCK THEM ALL!!!! The whole thing stinks.

In the end, as a Pats fan, it doesn’t matter. I watched them beat the Seahawks in the Super Bowl. I saw Malcolm Butler make an incredible play to intercept Russell Wilson to seal the victory. I went crazy with all my friends, screaming and laughing and jumping around. The NFL and their bogus report can’t take that away from me. They may take our quarterback for a couple of games, but they will never take OUR FREEDOM!!!!