Pro Wrestling: A Mark's History, part 5 (I Like Heels Now)

February 3rd, 1989 - The moment which altered my perception of pro wrestling forever.  It was the second annual Friday night WWF special, The Main Event.  Like the previous year, the WWF used this live primetime broadcast to set the stage for WrestleMania.  This time however it was The MegaPowers vs. The Twin Towers - a match/angle that would be the catalyst for WrestleMania V. 

For months the company had been building to the eventual breakup of Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage, throwing in subtle hints of dissension before eventually staging multiple in-ring arguments.  The Main Event would be the night their partnership would dissolve.

During the bout, Savage was thrown out of the ring and landed on Elizabeth, knocking her to the floor.  Hogan spent the next several minutes seeing to her care and brought her to the dressing room for medical attention (Watching this segment now is positively guffaw-inducing, mostly due to Hogan's ridiculous overacting, but to my 13-year-old eyes at the time it was intense drama.), leaving Savage alone against his two massive opponents.  When Hogan finally returned to the ring, Savage abandoned him after slapping him in the face, much to the shock of the crowd.

So goofy by today's standards, but man this angle was brilliant.

The Wrestling Mid-Year Report

Welcome back to Enuffa.com, and a special Wrestling Mid-Year Report!  Today I'll be taking a look back at the first half of 2015 and examining what worked and what didn't, where the major companies are going, and I'll give my unofficial picks for the best of the year thus far.  Let's get on it.

2015's been a roller coaster for WWE so far; for the second straight year their planned direction for WrestleMania season was met with a mixed-at-best response.  Vince's choice for the next top babyface, Roman Reigns, failed to galvanize the fanbase.  Quite the opposite in fact; when it became evident Reigns would likely be given the ball at WrestleMania, he was met with a harsh backlash to which even The Rock wasn't immune.  After a pretty terrible Royal Rumble show where WWE seemed to completely bury the few babyfaces who were actually over (Daniel Bryan, Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler), it looked like we'd be in for a pretty rotten WrestleMania season, particularly since WWE Champion Brock Lesnar seemed to be on his way out of the company. 

WWE addressed the elephant in the room at February's new PPV FastLane, by having Roman Reigns defend his WrestleMania spot against the fans' top choice, Daniel Bryan.  In what was both a very strong match and a good indicator that Reigns could handle himself in a singles main event, Roman retained his 'Mania spot and was seemingly confirmed as the next big star.  Also at FastLane rising heel Rusev got his first real main event-level match against John Cena, and actually beat WWE's posterboy somewhat decisively. 

Dan's Top 9: Fictional Drugs

Ah, Drugs. Can’t beat 'em when it comes to having a night out on the town that lasts for 4 days and ends in St. Louis. But we are getting screwed here in the real world. In the fictional world there are countless drugs out there with incredible powers that can only be brought to you be the very best special effects artists. Here now are the best of the best.

DAN'S TOP

FICTIONAL DRUGS

9. Nuke (Robocop 2):  The only real power this drug has is turning an awesome Sci-Fi action movie into a shitty, muddled mess of crap WITHOUT Kurtwood Smith’s evil Clarence Boddicker character…so pointless.

AWESOME

8. ALZ-112, ALZ-113 (New Planet of the Apes series): Erases Alzheimer’s AND empowers monkeys with smarts & less poo flinging. Which is quite remarkable as the feces toss is paramount to a good time in the primate world. And I, for one, welcome our new Ape overlords.

RIP My Playstation 3: How To Deal With The Loss Of A Loved One

(Editor's Note: Let's all offer our condolences to Dan Moore in his time of heartbreak.  I'm here for ya buddy.....)

Yesterday was a dark day in the Moore household. There I was, minding my own business, and John Marston's business as well; a standard game of Red Dead Redemption on the good ol' PS3, when BEEP...then blank screen. 'The hell? Glitches happen, what can ya do? I calmly (not at all calmly, I was swearing like a sailor with the clap) restarted the system and then I saw it. The light. The yellow light.  The awful, terrible yellow light of death.  I had heard about this horrible light before and was now experiencing its awfulness. It stared deeply into my eyes, taunting me. This was the light that signals a fatal problem with the motherboard, a death sentence for the system. I was devastated. My old friend was dead. 

Beautiful, isn't she?
RIP PS3: Summer 2007-June 18th, 2015

Game of Thrones Review: Mother's Mercy

Howdy all, Dan Moore here. I'm a huge fan of Game of Thrones, the TV show, so if you're one of those book know-it-alls, BEAT IT. I like when my imagination is shown to me, so screw you.

Well folks, another GoT finale, another kick to the groin for characters we love. It seems every year the creators decide that they've had enough of a fan favorite character and bump that person right off. It's brutal. RIP Myrcella Baratheon. You will be missed.

She was...probably cool.

WWE Money in the Bank 2015 Predictions!!

Welcome to what has become a biweekly tradition at Enuffa.com, the WWE PPV Predictions column, where my associate Dan Moore and I break down WWE's upcoming "special events."

After a pretty great Elimination Chamber show, WWE has assembled another strong on-paper lineup, and while the build has been uneven as usual, I look forward to several of the bouts.

Justin leads Dan 20/30 to 19/30.  It's a real horse race we've got goin'!

Preshow Match: King Barrett vs. R-Truth

Jeezus, Barrett's in a career free-fall.  I don't understand a) why they can't just push the guy as a dominant midcard bully and b) why having anyone win the King of the Ring tourney ruins that person's life for at least six months.  Anyway, this feud's pretty pointless and these two have wrestled each other about a million times on free television, with Truth usually getting the upset win.

Justin's pick: Christ, give Barrett a win, will ya?
Dan's pick: POINTLESS. How do you make a half assed, on the fly KOTR tourney, pick a guy to win it & then just bury him? I don't get it. The Truth will set you free.

Tag Team Championship: New Day vs. Prime Time Players

I found it odd that PTP was the last team eliminated in the Chamber two weeks ago, being that they just got back together and hadn't really been built up again.  That said, I'm glad Young and O'Neil are a team once again, since they're 2014 split was utterly useless for both guys.  This match should be solid.

Justin's pick: New Day retains
Dan's pick: Yup

Divas Championship: Nikki Bella vs. Paige

The Divas division is still a clustermess, with no clear moral alignment from anyone.  Are the Bellas heels or babyfaces?  Which one is Paige?  None of this shit makes any sense.  Is the entire division stuck in the "shades of gray" Attitude Era?

Justin's pick: Nikki retains, probably until she eclipses AJ Lee's record-breaking Title run.
Dan's pick: I think they'll have Nikki break the record. Just so Mrs. Punk is outta the record books. (BTW, they should really be making a bigger deal of Nikki's streak here, right? Make it sound like a big deal, get some intrigue & suspense into this thing)

Intercontinental Championship: Ryback vs. Big Show

Really?  This is the best challenger you could come up with for Ryback?  You are aware Ryback is taking up Daniel Bryan's old job of restoring the IC Title to prominence and prestige, yes?  Fuck me.....

Justin's pick: Ryback
Dan's pick: Dude, enough with Paul Wight. Goldberg II will win.

John Cena vs. Kevin Owens

After a near show stealing match at EC, these two have the stiff challenge of topping themselves.  I think they can do so now that they'll be more comfortable with each other in the ring.  Owens has been booked superbly, so let's hope WWE doesn't screw this up.

Justin's pick: I'm guessing Cena wins in non-decisive fashion to set up a rubber match.
Dan's pick: Cena by DQ

Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Neville vs. Kane

On paper this looks like a fine Ladder Match (though again I'm pretty burned out on this concept and it needs to be a once-a-year-at-most kinda thing.  I'm not sure why Kofi is suddenly being thrust into singles action when he's got a great three-man team going, but I'm sure he'll pull off some spectacular stunts, as will Neville.  What the flyin' hell is Kane doing in this match?  I guess if Kane were to win he could use that as something to hold over Rollins' head, which could be entertaining.  But fuck, man, the guy's almost 50 years old.  He needs to be phased out as an active competitor.

Justin's pick: Roman Reigns is the obvious choice, and Sheamus is the dark horse.  I guess Reigns presents more creative options than Sheamus, so I'll go with Rock's cousin.
Dan's pick: Yeah, the only entrants with a shot are Sheamus and RR. I prefer when a heel has the briefcase so he can score a title shot in nefarious ways, but I think Reigns takes it.

WWE Championship Ladder Match: Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

These two stole the show at Chamber and I fully expect them to do the same here.  I could watch Ambrose and Rollins pretend to beat each other up all day long.  Unlike the multi-man Ladder Match, I still really enjoy the one-on-one variety, as they can actually tell a story while taking sick bumps.  This should be great.

Justin's pick: Rollins retains and gets his strap back after Ambrose's theft of said item.
Dan's pick: Seth for the win here (though here's what I'd like to see: RR wins the briefcase. Seth & Dean go at it in a vicious brawl, with Ambrose coming out as champion, to be congratulated by his friend Roman...who promptly bashes Ambrose with said case, and pins him for the heel turn and the win. Sets up Reigns v Ambrose for the belt for summer slam, and Brock comes back as a good guy to get revenge on Rollins in the co-main event. BOOM - perfect booking)


That's certainly a popular scenario - a lot of folks are predicting exactly that.  I'd be okay with it, but I dunno how likely a Reigns heel turn is.


There's our MITB picks.  The show looks like another solid piece of bidness from WWE.  Let's hope it lives up to the promise.  See ya next time!

Game of Thrones Review: The Dance of Dragons

(Editor's Note: My associate Dan Moore is back to review the latest Game of Thrones episode.  As always the content of this review is Greek to me, being that I've never seen a single episode of this show.  Seriously, I haven't the slightest fucking idea what he's talking about......)


Howdy all, Dan Moore here. I'm a huge fan of Game of Thrones, the TV show, so if you're one of those book know-it-alls, BEAT IT. I like when my imagination is shown to me, so screw you.


This weeks episode was a torture chamber of emotions. Whereas last week's hour put the Night's Watch through a physical ringer, 'The Dance of Dragons' put the viewer through the emotional ringer. A lot happened in many locales this week so I'll break it down by region.


DORNE

Ok, let's recap this story: Jamie, with the help of sell sword Bronn, heads to Dorne to rescue his diece (that's daughter/niece, people) Myrcella from danger. Meanwhile, dead (Goddammit) Prince Oberyn's children, the Sand Snakes, led by their mother Ellaria Sand, decide they have to kidnap Myrcella to start a war with the Lannisters. It all goes to hell, Jamie, Bronn and the Sand Snakes all end up in the clink. One of the girls gets naked, Bronn is poisoned for like eleven seconds, and then The reigning Dornish Prince, Doran, decides to let everyone go. He not only lets Jamie take Myrcella with him, but also her betrothed, his son Prince Trystane to serve on the small council back at King's Landing.

Dumb Action Movie Reviews: Escape Plan

Welcome to another edition of Dumb Action Movie Reviews, wherein I, Dan Moore, traverse the cinematic wonderland that is Netflix, Youtube and various other websites looking for crappy action movies. The ratings are based on 1-4 Indiana Jones whips, as he's the premier action movie character ever and the whip is AWESOME.

NOTE: THERE WILL BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW BECAUSE THERE HAS TO BE. BUT DONT WORRY, THE SPOILERS ARE POINTLESS, JUST LIKE THE PLOT TWISTS IN THE MOVIE.

Game of Thrones Review: Hardhome

**Editor's Note: I have never seen a single episode of Game of Thrones, so I'll have to take Dan's word for it that this week's show was the greatest thing since the discovery of the orgasm.  I didn't understand a word of this review Dan, not a fuckin' word......**


Howdy all, Dan Moore here. I'm a huge fan of Game of Thrones, as most people nowadays are. I've also only watched the TV show, so if you're one of those book know-it-alls, BEAT IT. I like when my imagination is shown to me, so screw you.

Anyways, this weeks episode was INSANE. The first 40 minutes were quite good, moving along the various plots of Westeros. Arya continues her training in the House of Black & White. Sansa has learned from the artist formerly known as Theon that her brothers are, in fact, alive. Tyrion has finally had his meeting with the Khaleesi, and these two put on a fine back and forth to see if they can work together to possibly bring peace to the Five Kingdoms.

But FUCK ALL THAT. Ice Zombie War!!! Holy SHIT that was awesome.

Elimination Chamber Is the Best WWE PPV So Far in 2015

What's up gang?  Just wanted to share a few thoughts about the Elimination Chamber PPV we all watched last night. 

First off, I really enjoyed this show.  There wasn't a bad match on the card and the two big singles matches delivered huge.  For a show thrown together in the span of two weeks, WWE did a tremendous job of making it feel important and assembling a strong, entertaining card.

The Tag Chamber was a really fun way to kick things off.  There are few things in wrestling that warm my heart quite like the sight of a full-fledged tag team division.  While not every team on the roster has a direction right now, just the fact that there are enough viable duos to fill a Chamber brings to mind the wonderful tag divisions of the late 80s.  Five of the six teams got at least a few moments to shine (Los Matadores kinda got the shaft, but El Torito got some highspots in), and The Ascension looked better than they ever have.  Cesaro/Kidd of course did the lion's share of the work to hold the match together, and I was a little disappointed they weren't in the final segment with The New Day.  But make no mistake, this was enjoyable from start to finish while also making the Tag Titles seem important.  The New Day continues to be one of the best acts on the show these days.  What a difference two months has made for them.