Well folks it's that time again. The tentpole PPV of the summer is upon us, and the 2015 edition is SUUUUUUUUUUUPER-SIZED!!!! That's right, this year's SummerSlam is a four-hour spectacular loaded up with ten, count them, TEN big matches. And since it's in a normal arena as opposed to a MegaUltraDome, the entrances hopefully won't be taking up half the show like they do at WrestleMania. Also celebrity wrestling fan Jon Stewart is hosting the show. While I don't get why a PPV needs a host (Isn't that why the announcers are there?), I'm a Stewart fan and he's a wrestling fan, so hopefully his involvement will be entertaining.
So let's get to the business of prognosticatin', shall we? As always my associate Dan Moore will give his picks too.
Currently Dan is beating me, for the first time since we started this tradition. I gotta step it up. Dan: 28/43, Justin: 26/43
Four-way WWE Tag Team Title Match: Prime Time Players vs. The New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores
Like several of the undercard matches on this show, this seems just thrown together to give a buncha guys something to do. But if given time this could be a helluva fun match. I love the Dragons, PTP are always improving, Los Matadores are fine workers, and The New Day are still one of the best acts on the roster. So hopefully this gets a good 12 minutes.
Justin's pick: I think they gotta give the straps back to The New Day. How those guys aren't being given a long-term run as Champions I don't know.
Dan's pick: I'm also hoping for the New a Day to get the belts back. They're the most entertaining team going right now.
Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggles is back finally, and for once he's involved in a real feud. Rusev's stock has dropped immensely since 'Mania, so it'd be nice if both of these guys can elevate each other. But this is WWE we're talking about.
Justin's pick: Rusev hasn't had a PPV win since February, so I have to think he gets one here.
Dan's pick: The Bulgarian Brute has been a bust since losing to Cena and desperately needs the win. Here's hoping this is the first of a series, with Rusev pulling out this one.
Neville/Stephen Amell vs. Stardust/Bad News Barrett
Anyone who's read my stuff knows how I feel about celebrities wrestling. It's almost never a good idea unless they're booked to lose. Yet they never are. This match more than any other feels like a hodgepodge. They wanted Amell vs. Stardust but didn't want to expose the non-wrestler as a non-wrestler, so they made it a tag match. I guess it's a bit of a throwback to the SummerSlam cards of old that were built around tag team main events. Hey, at least Amell's young and in excellent shape.
Justin's pick: Obviously Green Arrow's team takes this one.
Dan's pick: So pointless. I agree.
Three-way Elimination Divas Match: Team Bella vs. Team BAD vs. Team PCB
Another case of basically an entire division being shoved into one match. I'd rather see Charlotte or Sasha fight Nikki for the Divas Title, but I guess they're still biding their time till Nikki breaks AJ's longevity record. Vince does enjoy his petty booking.
Justin's pick: Since Charlotte is likely to be Nikki's next major challenger, her team will probably win here. Team PCB (that's Paige, Charlotte, Becky btw ("by the way")).
Dan's pick: PCB should TCB here (taking care of business)
Wyatt Family vs. Roman Reigns & Dean Ambrose
What an odd piece of booking. I guess they originally wanted all three Wyatts together here but Erick Rowan is injured, so we're getting a watered down version of last year's awesome Wyatts-Shield feud. Man, has Roman Reigns fallen down the card or what? There's no middle ground with WWE Creative; either Reigns is KING AWESOME or he's a midcard guy we don't care about. All four guys can work, especially in tag matches, so this could be good, but I'm not super excited about the feud itself.
Justin's pick: I wonder if Rowan shows up here or if there's a new Wyatt member unveiled. If that's the case the Wyatts will likely win, but Wyatt also beat Reigns last month, so Reigns is due for redemption. Eh, I'll go with Team Shield I guess.
Dan's pick: I'm going with the Wyatts here. I think there'll be some tomfoolery in this match, perhaps even an Ambrose heel turn.
Triple Threat Intercontinental Title Match: Ryback vs. Big Show vs. The Miz
Here's the snorefest we were supposed to get at Battleground. Both Miz and Big Show are long-since irrelevant, so there's zero heat for this match. Ryback needs a real challenger pronto, that he can have a memorable feud with and elevate the I-C belt like Bryan was supposed to.
Justin's pick: Ryback retains
Dan's pick: Such a snoozer. The Big Guy wins.
Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro
This is the one match I'm really excited about. Both these Ring of Honor alums are amazing in the ring and I like that Cesaro's getting a bit of a renewed singles push. Owens' stock has fallen since losing two straight to Cena, but hopefully he won't get lost in the shuffle after such a landmark main roster debut. These two better get a good fifteen minutes to steal the show.
Justin's pick: I imagine this feud will be more than one match, so Owens should win the first encounter.
Dan's pick: Ditto
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
These guys had a fine match at Battleground (which feels like it was ages ago, strangely), and should be able to repeat that performance here. Sheamus isn't exactly lighting the world on fire as the Money in the Bank holder, so something big needs to happen for him.
Justin's pick: Sheamus wins
Dan's pick: There's zero happening for Sheamus. He needs this win bad.
WWE Title vs. US Title Match: Seth Rollins vs. John Cena
I'm still not sure why Cena needed to be hotshotted back into the WWE Title mix, particularly since this isn't the match that's selling SummerSlam. Cena had been doing an amazing job of elevating the US Title and probably should've just had a separate match on this card while Rollins could tear the house down against another great worker. Regardless, these two both routinely deliver excellent work, so I expect no different in this case.
Justin's pick: Rollins is in the unfortunate position of being WWE Champion during a major ratings downturn. Usually when that happens Vince goes into panic mode, which generally means "go back to the Cena well." Then again Cena's been doing great work as the US Champion, and there's a MITB holder waiting in the wings. I guess I'm gonna go with my initial prediction which is a screwy DQ finish so no titles change hands. Sheamus could still cash in, but as of the end of the match I'll say Rollins is still the WWE Champ and Cena's still the US Champ.
Dan's pick: I see no point in unifying these belts and hope to God it's a Cena win by DQ
Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker
Sigh....The Curse of the Part-Timers strikes at SummerSlam. Usually WrestleMania is the only show where non-members of the main roster take over the top match, but every so often it happens at SummerSlam too (see 2012 and 2005). Here's a match with essentially no consequences. If Taker wins he avenges his WM30 Streak-ending loss and then goes home. If Lesnar wins he reinforces the notion that he's an unstoppable monster and then goes home. This idea of having a big match just to have a big match is so tiresome to me. I miss the days when WWE could put together a big match that actually carried weight and long-term ramifications. What happened to that concept? Anyway, Taker's in much better shape than the last time he and Lesnar locked up, so I expect this to at least be an improvement on that. But the man is still a decade removed from his prime and we've seen this match four times on PPV since 2002. I'd much rather see Lesnar take on Orton or Sheamus.
Justin's pick: Undertaker wins to set up a "rubber match" at WrestleMania 32 (even though Lesnar's got a 4-0 record against Taker).
Dan's pick: Yup, Taker, probably with some help by Sting? His injured brother Kane? DANIEL BRYAN?!?! Ok probably not that last one, but that'd be cool.
And that's where our heads are at leading into SummerSlam. Comment below with your picks, and enjoy the show!
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