Movie Review: X-Men: Apocalypse

As a huge fan of the X-Men movie franchise I'd placed the latest installment X-Men: Apocalypse very high on my list of Most Anticipated Films of 2016.  I was rather disheartened to learn of its mixed-at-best reception and feared yet another underwhelming third act in a beloved trilogy (In this case, my second favorite superhero movie series behind The Dark Knight Trilogy).  But while it has its flaws and is certainly the weakest of the X-Men prequels, Apocalypse does boast some series-defining moments, mostly strong performances, and a helluva villain.  Fear not friends, it's no Days of Future Past, but it's also no The Last Stand.

As I said, I've been hooked on this series since Bryan Singer ushered in the modern era of comic book films with his understated 2000 original, and the series has had highs and lows (mostly highs) since then.  For me the heart of the X-Men mythos has always been the uneasy relationship between Professor X and Magneto.  I find their Martin Luther King vs. Malcolm X-inspired association fascinating; I'm always drawn in by the idea of two characters with great mutual respect and admiration being separated by a difference in ideology.  Aside from Batman vs. The Joker, this is my favorite comic book pairing.

I was therefore blown away by the first of the X-Men prequels, First Class, as it was the first of the series to be free of the "Wolverine is the most popular so it should all be about him" mentality.  The Xavier-Magneto struggle was front-and-center, and the result was for me the best film in the entire saga.  Days of Future Past spotlighted these two characters as well, and even managed to find room for the aforementioned Wolverine (who was a childhood favorite but isn't terribly interesting or important to me as an adult).  This prequel series has been overall superior to the originals; an impressive feat, particularly given how awful a certain other series of prequels was....

You Used to Be Soooo Good: Pearl Jam

Welcome to another edition of You Used to Be Soooo Good, where Justin & I, Dan Moore, discuss things used to be awesome but now, eh, not so much. This week we discuss a band whose music was very important to me while a teenager in the rough streets of suburban Massachusetts whose current output is what I would call cookie cutter at best ( I don’t really know what that phrase is supposed to mean)              
          

Pearl Jam:  You Used to Be Soooo Good

Look at 'em in all their unwashed glory......

DAN: The early nineties were a confusing time for me in the music world. I was steadfastly a rock music fan. Loved Led Zeppelin from an early age due to influences from my father, and was drawn to all kinds of loud rock music since. But as a thirteen-ish year old boy, it was tough to be called a ‘headbanger’ in a derogatory fashion in a school where mostly pop & rap were listened to. Listening to Guns N Roses, Skid Row and other metal bands was not ‘cool’ to them, and peer pressure to fit in was abundant…but I just couldn’t do it. I stuck to my rock roots. And then it all changed with this new music called ‘Alternative Rock’. All of a sudden, guitar riffs and loud drums were acceptable in my school, all because of Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots and, for me, the kings of this new movement, Pearl Jam.  Their first album, Ten, took a while to grow on me, but it did, slowly but surely. There are so many songs on that album that scream out classic. From front to back, there is not one misstep. It made me want more of them, and shortly thereafter, Vs. came out, which topped their debut album. I mean, just destroyed it. They grew into a completely different sounding band. Their music was INCREDIBLE.

Goofy cover but goddamn what a great record.

JUSTIN: My path to Pearl Jam was slightly different.  I too was into hard rock and metal, specifically bands like Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax, Slayer, etc.  I liked Gn'R, Motley Crue and Poison as well, but it was the thrash/speed metal that really blew up my skirt.  At my school metal was somewhat accepted actually, since some of the popular kids were into some of the same bands I was.  The difference was that I really looked the part, with long hair, rock T-shirts, acid washed (sometimes torn) jeans, and black cowboy boots (over the pants of course).  Yeah by today's standards I looked like a real jerkoff.  But there was a large metal clique in my school so I fit right in.

Anywho, by 1991 metal had actually gone mainstream and I was in heaven.  Metallica released the Black Album which took the world by storm.  They were all over the radio and MTV, and soon most of the metal bands I loved were following suit (i.e. stripping down their sound and making more accessible music) and finding mainstream success.  This was a double-edged sword because the music was clearly watered down but it was great to see bands like Megadeth actually getting mainstream attention.

Monaco Grand Prix Preview

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

Of all the sporting events that I force myself to like, car racing is the hardest to actively try to enjoy. It’s monotonous, it’s boring, and it’s goddamn loud. I pretty much hate it. But not the Monaco Grand Prix. Oh boy, this here is a race. Your typical NASCAR race is a buncha good ol' boys going around in circles, circles. Left turns for DAYS, son. But the Grand Prix is open wheel racing through the heart of a goddamn city. It’s fucking AWESOME to look at.

One day I’ll be on one of those yachts during this race (I’ll be a janitor)

I stumbled upon this race one random Sunday morning years ago in my apartment in South Boston. I woke up early for God knows what reason, and I saw these guys flying all over the road of a major metropolitan area. I immediately thought “I like this” and settled in to watch. I toasted up some waffles and drank the only thing I had left in the house, Bud Lights. Thus, a Monaco Grand Prix breakfast tradition was born. The race always starts at around 7am here in the states as Monaco is 6 hours ahead of us here on the east coast, so be prepared for early morning boozing.

Here now are my picks for the winner, with some favorites thrown in and a longshot pick.

A Rant About the NFL Being Run By Scumbags

by Brandon Cuddemi

The latest chapter in the book of NFL Greed & Corruption details how the NFL tried to influence a study on concussions and brain disease. The report is pretty cut and dry. I’m not sure about the legality of anything they did, but regardless, a handful of these guys should be in fucking prison. The quick version of the report is that the NFL gave money to the National Institutes of Health (NIH) to the tune of $30 million. $16 million was to be used to fund the study in question. When the grant for the study was given to a Boston University doctor over a doctor who WORKS FOR THE NFL, the league lobbied to have the BU doc removed. But it seems the people at the NIH were able to Google “conflict of interest” and decided to not change their original decision. In turn, the NFL responded by pulling their $16 million dollars back, forcing the study to be conducted with taxpayer money instead. Even Bond villains think that’s fucked up.

Wait, you took the money AWAY?
Cold-blooded, Rog…cold-blooded.

The NFL wants a company man so they can conclude there’s no definitive link between concussions and CTE, and that football players aren’t more at risk. Remember how the tobacco companies once claimed in court that nicotine wasn’t addictive? Same strategy. The NFL is pretty much trying to say the world is flat, and when scientists say it isn’t, they tell the scientists to go fuck themselves. The lying about head trauma in football isn’t new. It actually spans a couple decades. Let me introduce to you Dr. Elliot Pellman. Pellman was the head of the concussion committee for the NFL from its inception in 1994 to 2007. He’s been a lead on studies with statements such as “Concussions are minor injuries” and “Professional football players do not sustain frequent repetitive blows to the brain on a regular basis.” Now you’re probably saying to yourself, “Surely he can’t be involved with the NFL anymore.” WRONG! And don’t call me Shirley. Pellman is the goddamn Medical Director for the league, and acted as the NFL’s lead contact to the NIH regarding the study. Is this real life? Is anyone fucking home? I’d be more comfortable with Dr. Van Nostrand, a Juilliard trained dermatologist, running the show.

The reason for the attempted tea-bagging of science and common sense is the same reason the NFL is always in a mess. Greed. This hurts their bottom line. And while Goodell and the crooks in the league office are all insufferable douchebags, they’re taking the cues from the billionaire owners. I mean, imagine if guys like Jim Irsay and Jerry Jones were signing your checks. All you need to do is read some of their quotes on the subject. Colts owner Jim Irsay has compared the risks of football to the side effects of taking aspirin. Perhaps he has a deeper pharmaceutical understanding than you or I because this is the same guy who was arrested in 2014 with more pills on him than a CVS. Only those pills weren’t aspirins, so who’s to say? Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has said that it is “absurd” to say there is a link between football and CTE. That’s right. He used the word absurd. Because he’s an asshole, and he doesn’t know the internet exists.

Game of Thrones: Season Six, Episode 5 ("The Door")

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

Hold the door? HOLD THE FUCKING DOOR? That’s what Hodor actually meant? Jesus that was silly. The reveal that Hodor was actually mushing up the words hold the door is just a little dumb if you ask me. I’m also not one of the fanboys that was in love with the Hodor character anyway. He was a big, mute galoot that dragged a crippled boy from place to place. He had no defining characteristics except his cowardice. So now he’s dead. RIP HODOR

Whatever

So now we’re moving on from the Three-Eyed Raven plot. So I must ask: Why the FUCK would you get an actor of Max von Sydow’s caliber and do NOTHING with him? He was a poor man’s Obi Wan Kenobi. He legitimately did less than Gilly, and that bitch is WORTHLESS.  What’d he have, five scenes? Three lines? Absolutely pointless.

The big reveal was that Bran’s warging powers seem to have some sort of influence on both the past and the future. Does this mean Bran can go back and change things that have gone badly in the past? I’m not too keen on this idea so I hope that’s not the case. The last thing this show needs is another deus ex machina (We have the dragons for that).

We had Sansa absolutely destroy Lord Baelish. Essentially telling him he’s a fucking idiot. Sansa’s character is so much better than it’s ever been at this point in the show. She’s confident, she’s making good decisions and she’s not taking any bullshit anymore. Looking forward to more of this from her. She’s even got Brienne in check, which is something I didn’t think was possible.

WWE: No Heroes Allowed

Welcome to a WWE product devoid of archaic tropes like "heroes" and "villains."  In today's world there is no such thing; everyone is various shades of gray, and not in the same way they were during the Attitude Era.  Back then it was clear who we were supposed to identify with.  Now it's a nebulous blur, and as long as a wrestler gets some kind of reaction, cheers or boos, that makes them by definition a star.  Hell, a mega-star.

This seems to be WWE's new mentality in 2016.  At least that's how they're rationalizing the continued push of Roman Reigns as the company's top babyface, despite 80% or so of their fanbase despising the guy.  At Extreme Rules JBL actually articulated that last part, twice.  Something to the effect of "Whether you cheer or boo Roman Reigns everyone has a passionate reaction to him.  That's the mark of a megastar."  The contortionism of WWE's logic is truly migraine-inducing.  "We like this guy as the top hero, but none of our fans do.  Eh, fuck it, as long as they react to him somehow that means he's over."  Yeah that's not how a top babyface works guys.  If the audience doesn't like the top good guy, that means they aren't emotionally invested in his journey, except in the sense that they'll pay to see him lose.  Congratulations, you've just established your top heel.  I mean that's the whole basis for professional wrestling.  The audience pays to see one guy win and another guy lose, and they really want to watch that scenario play out.  At a certain point you can't force on us which of those guys is which.  When Roman Reigns defends against Seth Rollins at Money in the Bank, guess which guy the crowd's gonna be rooting for.  Despite your best efforts, Seth Rollins is now the company's top babyface.  You can have him insult the audience all you want, but as long as he's in there with Resentment Roman, he's the good guy and Roman is the heel.  You're shoveling shit against the tide by trying to shoehorn these two guys into the opposite role from what they're suited for.

Booking Roman the way we saw at Extreme Rules, where he kicked out of two Styles Clashes (one on a chair) and withstood a dozen chair shots only to hit a spear out of nowhere for the win is only going to make the fans hate him more.  The audience doesn't want another SuperCena, we already have the one.  And say what you will about John, even at his least popular he was still getting cheered by half the crowd.  Reigns doesn't have anywhere near that level of fan support.  I fail to grasp why the company can't see how much better and more over Reigns would be as a monster heel.  After a year or so the crowd would very likely grow to love Reigns, because it would feel like he earned the role into which Vince so desperately wants him cast.

I'd Like to Introduce You To: Short Term 12

Welcome back to Enuffa.com, where we once again present I'd Like to Introduce You To.....from Michael Drinan - a series dealing with lesser-known cinematic gems that you should go out of your way to find. 

Typically, films have plots that involve characters to help move it along.  However, some of my favorite films of all time are those with characters that ARE the plot.  My love for movies started as a kid and stemmed from the various characters I had seen in movies such as Back to the Future, Eddie and the Cruisers (way underrated movie), and the Indiana Jones trilogy (there is no fourth).  I didn’t just see these characters as they were, I saw the flaws in the characters and became fascinated at the realization that these fictional people could be me, my family or my friends.  The realism, plus the association of their qualities, enhanced the film for me and it became the basis for what I look for in a good film.  Very rarely does a character film come along that is hypnotic in its backstory as well as its development throughout the movie.  Let me introduce you to Short Term 12.

The film takes place mainly in a juvenile treatment facility and mainly focuses on Grace, the staff’s supervisor, played by Brie Larson (you might remember her as Envy Adams in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World or as the sister that is always texting in Don Jon).  Grace works alongside her boyfriend Mason as they, along with two other lesser staff members, deal with emotional and often violent outbursts from the children they oversee, the bureaucracy of the system that these children are a part of, and more importantly, the emotional and personal stress of their lives.

The first time I saw this film I was a goner.  I fell hard in love with this film.  The writing, the acting, the characters, it was all great.  Also, Brie Larson is unbelievable in this movie and should’ve (in my opinion) been nominated for an Oscar for this role instead of Meryl Streep for August: Osage County, but that’s a whole other blog post.  Her performance carries this film, giving it enough heart, strength and vulnerability to make you care for each character she interacts with, hoping and praying they end up alright.  This film has become her calling card, garnering her more roles in upcoming movies and causing her to be seen as a rising star in the industry.  Her performance is that good and it’s all well-deserved.  She allows herself to be enveloped in the character so much so that she is almost unrecognizable from previous roles in other movies.  You look at her on screen and she looks familiar but you can’t quite put your finger on where you’ve seen her before.

WWE Extreme Rules 2016 Preview & Predictions

Welcome to another round of PPV Predictions here at Enuffa.com, where my colleague Dan Moore and I break down the upcoming WWE spectacular.

This Sunday it's Extreme Rules, where most of the matches have some kinda wacky hijinx to make it different from the previous encounter.  As with most years, the majority of the bouts are rematches of some kind, but it should still be an entertaining show.  Let's get to it....

**Currently I lead Dan this season with 11/19 vs. 9/19.  Yeah we both suck this year.**

Pre-Show Match: Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler

A rematch from Payback, but they're still stuck on the pre-show.  I say it all the time, but poor Dolph....  At least he got a surprise win last time.  But that ain't gonna happen here.  The match should be ok.

Justin's pick: Corbin
Dan's pick: Corbin. I see nothing coming of this feud. Pointless.

US Title Match: Kalisto vs. Rusev

Holy shit, the US Title match is actually gonna be on the PPV??  First time since the Rumble.  Jeezus that belt's devalued.  Lining up Rusev for this shot seems like a reset for both him and the Title.  I wonder if after he wins it he'll drop it to a returning John Cena.  That'd be my vote, bring back the US Title Open Challenge.

Justin's pick: Rusev gets both his career and the US Title back on track
Dan's pick: Yea, the Bulgarian brute needs this.

Anderson & Gallows vs. The Usos

Yeah, WWE has already screwed up this Bullet Club stuff.  Anderson & Gallows have repeatedly lost on RAW and Smackdown, making them seem like just another tag team.  Also they're calling them The Club?  How fucking lame is that?  Finn Balor might be the only one who can save this faction, since at least they'd be called Balor Club.  Christ WWE, you guys could fuck up a ham sandwich.

Justin's pick: Anderson & Gallows avenge their multiple losses
Dan's pick: A & G

NXT Weekly Recap: May 19, 2016 (Nia Jax vs. Bayley)

by Landon Wayne
@LWayne21

Samoa Joe Title Reign: Day 27

Before the show even opened properly, there was a hype video for the Bayley/Nia Jax match happening later tonight. I love the videos and the production on the NXT show. Whoever’s got the reins is doing their job really well.


Shinsuke Nakamura and Ausin Aries defeated Blake and Murphy, disappointing me solely because I was really hoping for this to be Bobby Roode as the mystery partner for A Double. I’m not 100% sure, but I think that Shinsuke has come out each week with a different top to the ring. I think this was the official start of Blake and Murphy falling apart as a unit. Hopefully it’ll bring both guys into singles careers where they can develop proper characters that they didn’t have as a team. Even at their hottest, when they stole the titles from the Lucha Dragons at the start of last year. Murphy spent the entire match in the ring, eating almost nothing but offense, before eating Nakamura’s knee.

**, for the express reason it started the Blake and Murphy breakup, hopefully, and planted seeds for a potential Aries/Nakamura feud.


Bayley was interviewed, talking about how she’s gonna beat Nia Jax tonight and continue on to regiain the NXT Women’s championship. Match should be really good later, going off of Takeover: London.

No Way Jose gave another promo about who he is and why he’s here, how he likes smiling and dancing. It was goofy, but it wasn’t bad really. Something about his delivery or his disposition just makes me like him when he’s talking.

Carmella was on screen. She wants the belt. She wrestles next.


Carmella defeated Peyton Royce, in the FOURTH woman’s squash in a row on the NXT program. The only difference is that Peyton got a bit more offense than the others have recently, by grace of being heel and needing the heat. Carmella throws, I’m not exaggerating, the worst punches in the company at this time. Which is a shame because she has athletic moments that show talent in other places. Carmella eventually won with her not Koji Clutch.

3/4* for a really not good match. Filled time, waiting for when the new generation of women finally start getting wins.

Uncle Miggsy Previews The Preakness

by Mike Parker
@UncleMiggsy

The second jewel of the Triple Crown brings us to Baltimore, Merlin as the locals call it. That’s what it sounds like anyway, I don’t speak poor. Seriously, what a dump. I was there when California Chrome was the biggest horse on the planet and Pimlico couldn’t be bothered to turn off the Lorde concert that was going on in the infield for the race. It was, in a word, CHAOS. I saw some wild stuff going on in that infield. People puking all over themselves, people passed out in port-a-potties, people in amorous embraces in port-a-potties. I saw an overweight 20-something with no shirt on eating a pretzel with mustard running down his milky white belly. One of his friends thought it looked so tempting that he started dipping his own pretzel in the belly mustard. Just Google the Preakness infield and scroll through the horror. There are bikini contests, open bars, and port-a-potty runs, a truly vile scene.

Par for the course

The official drink of Preakness is the "Black Eyed Susan." That’s the perfect name as Pimlico is smack dead in the center of the ghetto. I imagine there are a lot of women running around there with black eyes. The pimps down in Merlin can’t let their hoes get out of line. You take your life in your hands trying to get to and from the venue. I’m not kidding when I say don’t go here unless you like betting the ponies while getting syphilis.

Let’s transition to the real stars of the day, the ponies. I gotta be honest; I’m a little disappointed in the lineup for the 141st running of the Preakness stakes. I feel as if they are just conceding this race to Nyquist. Clearly Nyquist is the best 3-year-old horse (I wish Songbird was in the Derby, not convinced she isn’t the best. Hopefully they face-off later this year, maybe the Travers or Breeders cup classic). There doesn’t seem to be any early speed in this race to press the pace and challenge Nyquist early. He’s already proven on several occasions that he can hold off Exaggerator who is a phenomenal closer. Who else in this race can challenge? My hope is that horse like Gun Runner and Brody’s Cause have skipped the Preakness to focus on the Belmont Stakes in three weeks. It’s not a bad strategy. You give your horse the extra time to recover and try to beat Nyquist at the longer distance. It just makes for a lackluster Preakness. Let’s get into the horses that are in the race.

Best of the Super Juniors Preview and Predictions

by Landon Wayne
@LWayne 21

and Justin Ballard
@EnuffaDotCom

The Best of the Super Juniors. A time for the juniors of New Japan and abroad to come together and be showcased, while guys like Tanahashi and Okada can relax and drink martinis for a month. It’s a month of fast starts, quick ground work, reversals out of reversals, and fighting spirit. It’s refreshing for a North American fan who’s used to a stigma of lighter wrestlers as a niche or sideshow act to be able to watch almost a full month of nothing but the juniors giving their best performances.

It’d be ridiculous to try and cover every event, every match that happens. But we at Enuffa.cm want to give you something to sink your teeth into that’s tournament-related. So Justin and I are gonna give you the low down on each competitor, and give you some of our predictions for the tournament.


Block A

BUSHI

Landon: Los Ingobernables’ representative in the tournament has a lot to gain. He is a man who has been unexposed, even compared to the newest Stablemate SANADA. I feel like this could be a really good chance for BUSHI to break out strongly in the Junior’s division, especially after a humbling loss to KUSHIDA earlier this year.

Justin: I haven't seen that much of Bushi's work but I'm impressed thus far.  His match with Kushida was pretty great and he's probably the second best worker in the Ingobernables stable.  This should be a good opportunity for him to step up.


Gedo

Landon: New Japan’s booker has no real chance in this tournament, and certainly has no benefit in winning. While he may not get many victories, the 27-year veteran has given great performances recently alongside Okada and Ropponngi Vice in the undercard and overseas. Look for solid matches coming from him throughout the block.

Justin: Gedo's a non-factor in this tourney and will likely drop most of his matches, thus putting some of the younger guys over a well-respected name.


KUSHIDA

Landon: The IWGP Junior Heavyweight champion, and last year’s winner, goes in with the odds of him winning this year stacked against him. Winning this year would mean winning both as champion and defending BOSJ winner. This feat has only been accomplished by one man, Tiger Mask IV in 2005. However, after defeating Kenny Omega at WK10, and Liger recently at Dontaku, there could be a push to make the champion the next biggest Junior in history. A win in the tournament could help this along.

Justin: Kushida is the new yardstick for small wrestlers everywhere.  He's gone from a mostly tag wrestler to one of the best in-ring talents in the world, bringing to the table so much more than just flashy offense.  When Kushida's in there every move counts and there's a story to be told.  I don't see him winning but he certainly could be a finalist.

Game of Thrones: Season Six, Episode 4 ("Book of the Stranger")

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

That’s more like it. This is the first episode of Thrones this season that didn’t seem like it was just checking in on all the characters we know. This one actually had plots move along and created natural character progressions. John and Sansa are reunited at Castle Black (Sure, Sansa and her crew seem to have hiked the million miles or so from Winterfell to Castle Black in what seems to be a day, but whatever). This is the stuff we’ve all been waiting for. The Stark kids, back together. I mean, one of them is a bastard born of his father’s infidelity (or is he?!?!?), but he’s still a Stark. And seeing Sansa take control and essentially tell Jon “we’re taking back Winterfell” was awesome to see.

Oh man, it's getting dusty in here.

They also know that Ramsay has their little brother Rickon, and they’re gonna go save him. After Jon read most of Ramsay’s threatening letter, he seemed ready to go fight. But when Sansa read the rest of the threats against her, oh boy, she’s definitely down to fight.  Blood should be flying everywhere. Here’s hoping Ramsay gets flayed much like the banners he’s got flying all over the place (especially after what he did to poor Osha).

Everyone’s favorite jerk, Littlefinger, showed up FINALLY. He’s still pulling the strings at the Vale, and he gets the truly useless Lord of the Vale, Robin, to go along with his plans to help Sansa out. This prick is the kind of guy I can get behind. Plus, if the Knights of the Vale are heading towards Castle Black and team up with Jon Snow’s wildling army, that Bolton piece of shit is TOAST.

With a smug smile and douchebag mustache, you know this guy is a prick.

Tyrion sets up a deal with the masters on Mereen: Stop helping the Harpies insurgency and they can have slavery back…but only for 7 years. It’s a deal frowned upon by Missandei and Grey Worm, but fuck them. She’s a wet blanket and he’s got no dick. Tyrion knows what he’s doing (This plan seems awful in the long run, but what do I know?). I don’t really know what is going to happen with Mereen going forward. I also kinda don’t care. It just seems like a big pause in the long run of this story, and it’s taken Tyrion from the forefront of the show. That’s a huge mistake. He’s the best character in the program and he’s relegated to maybe two scenes a week. Tis a shame.

A Rant About the NBA Lottery by a Jaded Celtics Fan

by Brandon Cuddemi

Every time the Celts have a shot in the lottery, I try to not get my hopes up. I always fail at this. And inevitably, they get the shaft, and I see red. I expect nothing different tonight. The icing on the cake will be when the Lakers get the top pick. If that happens, you should alert the authorities.

Yes, we see the irony in bitching about a team with the most championships in NBA history, but screw you.

The truth of the matter is this is kind of a bonus. It's not really the Celtics pick. It's Brooklyn's. At the time of the trade, there was no way of knowing whether Brooklyn would be this bad at this point. Danny FLEECED 'em. But now that it’s here, and the fact it represents the trade that sent Pierce and Garnett out of town, I think it warrants some luck tonight.

The other part of that is, fuck these other teams that tanked it this year. Philly should be banned from the lottery for the next decade after the embarrassing way they've gone about their business. I don't even know how many years they've been losing on purpose now. The Lakers?...blow me. They get a sit down with every big free agent just for the fact its La-La land, and nobody told them to give Kobe the most ridiculous contract in the world that crippled their potential for the last two seasons. Phoenix pulled a Major League by trading everyone and anyone who was decent in order to keep losing. Not even exaggerating, they followed this business model to a T. So they can go pound sand too. Minnesota has two great foundation guys already in Towns and Wiggins. They don't need to win another lottery. The Kings are a legitimate circus and it would be cruel to send one of the top guys to Sacramento. I could go on but you get the idea. FUCK em all.

I'm fine.  Everything is fine.

NXT Weekly Recap: May 11, 2016 (Finn Balor vs. Elias Sampson)

Samoa Joe's Days as NXT Champion: 20

This week’s episode of NXT saw the return of Finn Balor to the program. Will the former champion break the funk that NXT has had in recent weeks? Or will he be in just another squash match? Will American Alpha come back to Full Sail? Will the streak of 3rd generation women signees jobbing continue? Would I be asking if any of these weren’t true?

The show opened with Finn coming out to a great ovation from the Full Sail crowd. He came out, with his typical video and music, but was overall somber as he walked to the ring. While this is happening, we’re reminded that Nakamua faces Alex Riley tonight. Finn took a mic and talked about his war with Joe, how each match could go either way.

The following are the exact words I wrote down for the next 3 minutes:

GOD DAMMIT SAMPSON

Pele Kick

Finn throws Guitar

Great Catch of Guitar

Fuck, they wrestle later.

They showed how social media exploded with Eric Young’s arrival in NXT, and they showed the full video of Eric Young being interviewed that had surfaced the week before his NXT TV debut. Really excited for Eric Young to be here, can’t wait to see what he can do.


American Alpha defeated Corey Hollis and John Skyler, in another example of showing a potential new team showing up to go against an established team. The opposite team got just enough heat so that Jason Jordan could get the hot tag. Part of the way through, Corey Graves called this match "a mugging" and I can only have the delusion that Corey reads my reviews.  Towards the end of the match, the Revival came out on stage to have a stare down. At which point, Jason proceeded to pull his singlet straps back up, to remove them again and go for the finish. They hit Harris with the Grand Amplitude.

**1/4 for, yet again, a basic match used to keep American Alpha fresh in the audience’s mind. Definitely looking forward to the eventual Revival/Alpha rematch.


There was an indescribable Nakamura promo that lasted all of about 10 seconds. I could not begin to describe how awesome this was. I command all of you to find the promo and following match.


Shinsuke Nakamura defeated Alex Riley in a match made of concentrated awesome. This match consisted of about 20 seconds of Riley offense, then approx. 75% of all of Nakamura’s spots. Kinshasa ended the match within 5 minutes.

1000 Fucking Stars.

Movie Review: Avengers 3: Civil War (Ok fine, Captain America: Civil War)

by Dan Moore
@Southie Danimal

This is 100% an Avengers movie. The sheer amount of characters, the world-spanning plot and overall chaos it brings to the Marvel Cinematic Universe is far too vast for a Cap movie alone. It deals with loose ends left over from Winter Soldier but its main story arc is a result of Age of Ultron.

Avengers 3.  Just call it what it is.

Now here comes the hyperbole: This is the greatest superhero movie ever made. And I’ve seen them all. Christ, I saw the ORIGINAL Captain America, with JD Salinger’s son in the starring role.

Captain Suit-Obviously-Made-of-Rubber

So I have some idea of what I’m talking about. And this has it all. Big action sequences, an intriguing mystery aspect, and costumed dudes punching other costumed dudes in the face. Plus, there is true emotion behind all these characters. They’re all wearing lycra spandex and masks, but these are real, fleshed out characters. Even when they weren’t slugging each other, I was never bored with this movie. It kept my attention the whole time.

CA:CW has essentially the same plot as the other big superhero movie released this year, Batman v Superman. Mainly, the two main heroes don’t particularly get along too well and are divided against each other because of massive casualties that resulted from them saving the world.  But unlike BvS, which pigeonholed this plot into one overly long flick, the drama between Cap and Iron Man has been brewing for three or four movies at this point. Their conflict feels more natural. It helps that you have an actor of Robert Downey Jr’s caliber in the Iron Man role. You can feel his PTSD in this and the last Iron Man flick. He’s truly a changed man.

There’s a TON of stuff in this flick, so I’m breaking it down into categories.

NJPW Wrestling Dontaku Review

by Landon Wayne
@LWayne21

I started watching New Japan at Wrestle Kingdom 9, with Global Wars of 2014 being a precursor and introducing me to some of the more prominent talent. Now, I subscribe to NJPWWorld.com and enjoy New Japan on a regular basis. I bring up Wrestle Kingdom because I became a fan of two men in particular that night. Both men lost that night, but I also promised myself on that January 5th or 6th that I would continue to follow these men through their careers, no matter where they went. Now, Tetsuya Naito and Tomohiro Ishii fought in the main event, delivering a great match that was preceded by a series of really good matches. But first, there was…an undercard.



Bad Luck Fale and Yujiro Takahashi defeated Juice Robinson and Captain New Japan in a similar squash match to Invasion Attack. This is the second opening squash where these two have beaten Juice and another wrestler. After Fale pinned Captain New Japan with a Bad Luck Fall, Robinson left the defeated Captain in the ring alone, looking frustrated as he left. I really couldn’t care less.

¾* for a nothing match that I watched on auto-pilot.



Kazashi Sakuraba, Gedo, Will Ospreay, and YOSHI-HASHI defeated David Finlay, Jay White, Ryuske Taiguchi, and Tiger Mask IV in what I consider the true opener for Wrestling Dontaku. There was a really interesting intensity in the opening minutes of the match between Sakuraba and Tiger Mask, which may lead up to a larger match further down the road. The main focus of this match was the Juniors in the match who are going to be in the BOSJ in a few weeks. Finlay and Ospreay were the final exchange that made Will look really good. Ospreay won with a Springboard Ace Crusher, which is his new finish apparently.

**, and I can’t wait for Best of the Super Juniors. If only a member of the site would do an introspective look at the tournament as a whole…



IWGP Jr. Hevyweight Tag Team Championships

Ricochet and Matt Sydal defeated Rappongi Vice, in the first of many odd endings on this event. We have a team of two men who would be better off as singles wrestlers in the division, going up against the strongest looking Jr. Team in the company right now. While this match was good I feel like I’m starting to numb to the Jr. tag appeal in New Japan, losing focus a few times as I watched. However, that’s not to say there weren’t good aspects from all four men. Sydal and Ricochet ended the match with the stereo shooting stars, solidifying themselves as 2-time champions.

**1/2, because I know it could’ve been better if given more time, but nothing went majorly wrong. My only gripe was that the titles just bounced from ReDragon, to the Bucks, to Ricochet and Sydal, to RPG Vice, and BACK to Sydal and Ricochet. Just depreciates the value of the belts to me.

Game Of Thrones: Season Six, Episode 3 - "Oathbreaker"

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

A slow night in Westeros. Not much happened in last night’s episode. Jon Snow is up and about again after dealing with that nasty ailment known as “being dead." He promptly took the crows that murdered him and had them swinging on the gallows pole. And then his watch ended. I guess he technically didn’t break his oath, as you’re sworn to the black until you die, and Jon Snow most certainly died. So now he leaves the Wall to do…I dunno. You’d think maybe he woulda checked with his friends before leaving. But nope, Jonny went all lone wolf and took off. Maybe he’ll go find Sansa? Or Uncle Benji? Who knows.

Way to come back from the dead, Jon!!

Dany finally gets to Vaes Dothrak and oh boy they don’t like her. Seems that these widows of the Khals don’t take to kindly to our silver-haired Mother of Dragons.  She’s the real oath breaker, as she was supposed to end up in this widows' home immediately after her Khal died, but noooooooo, she had to go all liberator in Mereen and free slaves. So now her fate is left up to these vengeful broads. Will she stay? Will she be exiled? Or worse? I’m gonna say she’s freed by her gray-scaled friend, Ser Jorah. But this is an interesting development. Dany now has to pay for wanting to be such a gracious person. Could be trouble.

I think the biggest reveal in this episode is that as Ramsay is trying to cultivate new relationships as the Lord of Winterfell, Lord Umber shows him his ace in the hole: Rickon Stark. The fact that Ramsay now has ANOTHER Stark to fuck with is infuriating, but dem’s da breaks, kid. Does this help Ramsay get total control over the folks in Winterfell and beyond? If Jon Snow hears word of this, Ramsay is FUCKED.

Speaking of the Starks, we got a view of young Ned! As Bran continues his Warg training, we watch as he views his father fight Ser Arthur Dayne in what is one of the coolest fighting scenes that Thrones has done thus far. It was awesome seeing Ned again, even if it wasn’t Sean Beane. Why was Dayne guarding that tower? What’s going on up there? And what a screwjob at the end of that scene. Ned’s about to head into the tower and the Three Eyed Raven pulls the rug out from under us. “You’re lesson is over, flashback, done”  I WANNA KNOW!!!

YEAAAAAAHHHHH NED!!!!!!

Miggsy Previews The Kentucky Derby

by Mike Parker
@UncleMiggsy

It’s the first Saturday in May and you know what that means. It’s time for "The Fastest Two Minutes in Sports," the 142nd running of the Kentucky Derby. For most folks, it means getting all dolled up in fancy garb and pretending to like mint juleps, but for the degenerate gambling crowd it’s the start of the pony wagering season. And like a true degenerate would do, I got my friends hooked on $2 Win-place-show bets and trifectas so I was the only one walking around with a racing program hanging out of my back pocket. As always, we have a huge field for the derby. Twenty of the country’s best thoroughbreds will take part in the run for the roses and look to copy American Pharoah’s amazing Triple Crown from a year ago. Let me tell you right now, there is ZERO chance for any of these horses to accomplish that. I don’t have time to go over every horse and I know you don’t care so…

Let’s start with the favorite, Nyquist (Named after Detroit Red Wings forward Gustov Nyquist). He’s an impressive colt. Currently, he is undefeated; a perfect 7 wins in 7 races. At this point in his career he actually has more wins and double the prize money that American Pharoah had. I know that’s going to make you think “Well why cant he win the Triple Crown then?” Well he’s also been raced twice as much. That’s a bad sign when he needs to win 3 of the toughest races in just over 5 weeks. The ideal layoff between starts is 6 weeks for most horses. So think about it, he has to race the best challengers in the world with basically no layoff. I don’t see him doing it. He’s got a great shot at winning this weekend and maybe, maybe he’ll get the Preakness but not all three.

There are four grey horses in the field (Creator, Lani, Destin and Mohaymen). Cross them right off. I NEVER bet a grey horse. There is something about them that just doesn’t look right. They look sickly or as if they’ve seen a ghost or something. It creeps me out.

Seriously, who bets these......things?

NXT Weekly Recap: May 4th, 2016 (Samoa Joe vs. Eric Young)

by Landon Wayne
@LWayne21

Last week was an unfortunate delivery for the NXT product, and I had speculated that this was a precursor to a new style of NXT show. Fortunately, I have been proven partially wrong. While there is a definite focus on being a travelling brand and the weekly show being used to promote and encourage going to the live shows, the quality this week was a great improvement over last week’s show.

Samoa Joe came out to talk about his newly won title.  “Ladies and Gentlemen, what stands before you is a man that keeps his word.”  He went on about how he beat Finn and was going to be dominant. For those of you who are curious, Joe will have to make it to February 8th, 2017 to break Finn Balor’s record for the longest NXT title reign. But as Samoa Joe was talking, Eric Young came out to a huge reaction. There had been news on WWE’s Twitter and Facebook about Young’s signing, but this still came off as a great surprise for the old TNA fan in me. Eric gave the basic “I want the title” speech, with Joe brushing him off, and walking out of the ring. We would see these two in the main event later tonight.


Nia Jax defeated Tessa Blanchard in a squash that lasted less than 3 minutes. If the name sounds familiar, it’s because she is the daughter of the WWE Hall of Famer and former Horseman Tully Blanchard. Nothing much to say as Tessa got zero offense and Nia eventually ended the match with a leg drop.

* for a match to show that Nia can kill. And with this next generation of women still getting their stuff together, the women’s division will likely be this way for a long time.


No Way Jose wrestles tonight. Hopefully we see more of what he can do.


Austin Aries defeated Tye Dillenger in what was Aries’ first really good match in NXT so far. AA is finally getting to show that smoothness and natural talent he’s known for, and having Tye as a dance partner certainly helped. Dillenger is a really good talent, but unfortunately his incredibly over gimmick is the result of the Full Sail crowd willing to be into any gimmick put in front of him. This is why I’m critical about No Way Jose, and am constantly weary of anyone brought up from NXT. The highlight of Dillenger’s offense was when he used Hirooki Goto’s Ushigoroshi, which made me smile a bit inside. But Austin Aries eventually won with a 450 splash from the top rope.

**1/2 for a really solid match that was just long enough and got the point across.

NXT Weekly Recap: April 27, 2016 (Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Elias Sampson)

by Landon Wayne
@LWayne21

It’s been a chaotic week; my last finals week is on the horizon, and I didn’t get around to NXT until today. I thought it’d be a great break, and I’d be able to sit back, and relax to my favorite brand in professional wrestling.

Well, I was to be surprised.  The show opened with the commentators recapping Joe’s victory in Lowell, with promises that we’d hear from Joe later tonight.


Asuka defeated Eva Marie

Oh fuck me, this was a sign of things to come tonight. Let’s start with the good, being that Eva Marie is a really good heel. She’s good in the sense that she’s not doing things that people like or trying to be liked out there at all. She spent the majority of this match in rest holds and cutting off Asuka’s offense. Now the bad, she still really can’t do much. She has the basics down, but I still don’t think she understands ring psychology. And I don’t know if she can learn that now if she hasn’t learned it yet.

*1/2 for a boring match. Terrible match that ended with a spin kick. Best part was the tease for Nia Jax vs Asuka.


They showed clips of Joe and Balor from Lowell, and made it out that Finn injured himself on a running dropkick against the guard rails. The pop from Joe’s win was ridiculous, and they showed a collage of tweets showing the finished synced up to play simultaneously that was awesome.

We got a reaction from Joe, where he talked about how he knew he’d survive and that Finn would not. I hope he breaks Finn’s record (which stands at 292 days).


The Revival defeated Matt Lee and Jeff Parker

If you’ve ever seen the Hardy Boys in 1996 when they were being squashed on consecutive RAWs, you know what these jobbers looked like. I wasn’t around for Anderson and Blanchard’s run in the WWF, but if I found a TV from the 90s and saw one of their matches, I think it’d look like this. Literally no offense was given to Parker and Lee. Ended with a Shatter Machine to Lee.

**1/4 for a really fun mugging. Revival cut a promo after stating they wanted the belts back. The sad truth dawned on me that the Main roster’s Tag Division will never be as good as NXTs perpetually is.

Game of Thrones: Season Six, Episode 2 - “Home”

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

And like that, our long national nightmare is over. The biggest cliffhanger/non-cliffhanger in television history. The dead guy you knew wasn’t actually dead. Jon Snow is back amongst the living. We all saw that coming. He couldn’t remain dead. It’s like Princess Leia once said “Help me, SNOW-bi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope”. Who knew that just giving the guy a haircut and speaking like Yogurt could bring you back from the dead?

As it turns out, he didn’t need Billy Crystal, he needed Mel Brooks

I’m glad they didn’t drag it out for half the season. We needed this plot moving along, because I didn’t need three more episodes of them looking at Jon Snow’s corpse on a table. Everyone knew he was coming back. If you could bet on him being dead or alive, Vegas would’ve taken this off the board. So I thank the producers and creative staff for making Jon breathe again quickly.

He's up & running again, free to look emo and brood all over Castle Black

It was also great to see the Wildling giant come back and completely mash some poor sucker into a wall. This dude was crushed by a giant and I couldn’t have been happier. A great scene that showed the power of the Wildling army as they chucked the men who betrayed our beloved Jon Snow into the jails of Castle Black.

A lot happened in Westeros this week and the episode was much more fluid than last week’s piecemeal edition. The show’s many escapades moved along more naturally this week. Places people were talking about would pop up in the next scene and it worked perfectly.

We got ourselves a dead king over in the Iron Islands. Balon Greyjoy, who we haven’t seen in about 34 years, was bumped off by his never-before-seen brother. This seems to lead to a power struggle on the Islands between the king’s bro and his daughter, Yara. Also, Theon took his leave of Sansa and said he’s heading home as well. Will he insert himself into the power struggle there? I’m not too sure but it’ll be a good thing for Theon to shed himself completely of his “Reek” persona and possibly become a confident man again (albeit missing his twig & berries).

WWE Payback: A New Era.....of Ego(Mc)Mania!

Last night's Payback PPV was infuriating in a way.  Inasmuch as it was a series of good wrestling matches, Payback was an unquestionable success (aside from the tag team opener being cut short due to Enzo's horrifyingly brutal concussion - glad he seems to be doing well).  Three of the five full-length matches approached four-star territory, everything got time to breathe, and the company continued to focus on this newer crop of stars.  But what kept this from being an A show?  The McMahons.  The goddamn McMahons and their stupid overfed egos.

Holy Christ, I can't stand watching these people anymore.  This nonsense about who's in control, who's going to inherit the company, making the fans happy vs. what's "best for business" (Shouldn't those two things logically go hand-in-hand?)....  I stopped caring about all that shit sixteen years ago when we got a WrestleMania main event with a McMahon in every corner.  Since then they've trotted these fools out in various combinations ad nauseum, and there's never been any intrigue to these power struggle storylines.  Know why?  Because we all know who's actually in power, and that will never change as long as Vince is still breathing.  So any suspense about Shane coming in and shaking things up is false, and any significant changes we see are being made with Vince's consent.  Plus, said changes are probably temporary until Vince goes back to his favorite way of doing things.  So it's all manufactured nonsense in service of giving Vince and his kids as much screen time as possible.

I can't yawn fast enough....

And yeah, I know the announcement of Shane vs. Taker at WrestleMania resulted in a significant spike in ticket sales (God knows why), but in no way does that mean the fans as a whole are tuning in every week to see the latest McMahon family drama.  If I want to see family members squabble and bicker I've got Sunday dinner for that.  Keep these people off my television.  Jeezus, they bumped a SECOND match to the pre-show to make room for this drivel.  On a PAY-PER-VIEW.  How ass-backward is that?

All that said, Payback did offer some fine wrestling content, though my feed was riddled with buffering problems.  The Network has been around two years and I've never had so many streaming issues as I did with this year's 'Mania and Payback.  Get it together, WWE!

The two pre-show matches were varying degrees of mediocre.  Baron Corbin dominated most of his match with Ziggler only to lose via rollup when he gave Dolph too much recovery time.  Pretty forgettable.  Kalisto vs. Ryback was better, but not long enough to climb out of two-star territory.  Kalisto predictably retained and I'd say it's time to give this guy an actual feud we can care about.  The US Title is beyond worthless right now.

The opening match didn't have a chance to get going before Enzo's unfortunate concussion (which as I said earlier was scary as all hell).

TV Review: Netflix's Daredevil & Jessica Jones

by Michael Drinan
@thesurfacenoise

For the last few weeks I've immersed myself into Netflix’s contribution to the Marvel Universe with its series Daredevil and Jessica Jones. This round of binge watching was due ever since I saw the trailer for Season 1 of Daredevil but never got around to actually watching the thing. When Season 2 launched on March 18th, after hearing all the raves about it on social media along with Jessica Jones, it was time to get off my ass (er, I mean, firmly plant my ass down on the couch) and start it. Thank God I did because both were incredible.

I’m not going to get into any of the finer details of the plots of both shows in an effort to prevent any spoilers (and there are plenty). I’m just going to run through the different things I liked about each show.



CROSSOVER MATERIAL

Here’s how to watch these shows: Daredevil Season 1 and then Jessica Jones Season 1 and then Daredevil Season 2. Is it necessary? No, but the crossover material will play better if you watch it in that order. It heightened the experience for me because every time I saw a character or storyline crossover moment happen, I celebrated it with a “Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!” and my wife said “Oh my god it’s…” We loved the crossover stuff. It’s pretty obvious from these two shows that Netflix is building a New York Marvel Universe, the crossover material helps make the characters and incidents believable and real and hammers home that these characters exist together, at the same time.



CASTING

I love the casting on both shows. Charlie Cox as Matt Murdock was a fantastic choice, even without red hair, proving once again that Affleck’s awful dye job wasn’t necessary. Cox’s mannerisms, such as all of his sudden head movements when he hears something, where his eyes are focused and how they’re locked away from an opposite character, are really convincing. It feels as if Cox really took time and watched a bunch of blind people and their mannerisms. Love it.

Vincent D’Onofrio is a beast on this show! Such a great casting job putting him in the role of Wilson Fisk. D’Onofrio’s everyday facial expression itself is a little intimidating and sinister, so when put in a role of an evil crime syndicate boss, the evil becomes pronounced. D’Onofrio’s vocal delivery is astounding as well. Being a fan of Daredevil comics as a teenager, I never really could imagine how Fisk would sound but here D’Onofrio’s interpretation just felt spot on. He really gets the character and it’s scary as hell.

This might be a bit of a spoiler but Jon Bernthal as Frank Castle (aka The Punisher) in Season 2 is one of the best Punisher casting jobs since (in my opinion) Dolph Lundgren. Bernthal wrapped himself in the character of Castle and it never wavered. He’s my favorite Punisher so far.

In all honesty, I was unfamiliar with the comic character Jessica Jones so my opinion on Krysten Ritter being cast is based on being introduced to the character through this show. With that said, I thought she did a really good job playing a cynical, drunken, head case with superhuman strength.

The role of Killgrave, the villain who controls people’s minds and actions, performed by David Tennant (of Doctor Who fame) was very enjoyable to watch as the character became conflicted with his existence, his ability and the use thereof. Tennant had a real good handle on the character and was perfect for the character’s anger along with his sick sense of humor. Tennant is a talent!