Well WWE smashed a whole bunch more records at this year's SummerSlam - not that tough to do when you keep jacking up ticket prices and the city pays you to hold your event there - but as I suspected the card itself was steeped in mediocrity, concerned more with bad drama than good wrestling. WWE's audience is so bought in to the idea that wrestling matches don't have to be good as long as they advance whatever ongoing melodrama is behind them, that the company no longer cares about making any outside-the-box choices inside the ring. To them wrestling has to either be about action or about storytelling and they can't seem to understand that it can and should be both. There numerous times watching this show I found myself thinking "Christ, Vince booked numerous recent SummerSlams better than this one."
After yet another Triple H "Don't forget who's in charge now" moment to kick off the show, followed by a Jelly Roll performance, the opening match was Liv Morgan vs. Rhea Ripley for the Women's Title. They started out playing cat and mouse, with Ripley chasing Liv in and out of the ring until finally outmaneuvering her and going on offense. After a few minutes of Ripley dominating, Liv sent her shoulder-first into the turnbuckles, which popped Ripley's injured shoulder out of socket. Liv took over and worked the dislocation until Ripley finally got some space and slammed it into the announce table, Lethal Weapon 2 style. Ripley made a comeback but Liv brought a chair into the ring and tried to use it. Ripley flattened her with a boot, picked up the chair herself, and was about to swing it when Dominik on the outside grabbed the chair and reminded her she couldn't win the title this way. Ripley let go of the chair but Liv knocked her into Dom and hit Oblivion for a close nearfall. Dom then threw the chair into the ring for Liv to hit a second Oblivion to win the match. The announcers sold this like Dom's plan backfired, but then Dom helped Liv up from the floor and kissed her, betraying Rhea. Solid opener. ***1/4
Next up was Sami Zayn defending the Intercontinental Title against Bron Breakker, for the second consecutive PPV. Again, I don't for the life of me understand why this couldn't have been Bron's first attempt instead of having him lose clean at Money in the Bank. This was a dominant win for Bron as it should've been, but not long enough to be particularly good. Bron got a couple impressive spots like a top rope Frankensteiner, while Sami got a hope spot at the end, hitting an exploder suplex and going for the Helluva Kick. But Bron countered with a spear and then hit a second one for the win. WWE needs to stop having every power guy do the spear. Bron's puts Roman's to shame, but this is the most overused move in wrestling. Stop doing it. **
The US Title match was next and LA Knight prefaced his entrance by returning Logan Paul's Prime Energy Drink mobile but smashed one of the windows first. Paul attacked before the bell and they brawled outside the ring. Paul got an advantage by spitting water in Knight's face, but Knight eventually hit a torture rack neckbreaker on the announce table and rolled Paul into the ring to officially start the match. There were well-deserved "Fuck you Logan" chants early on. This settled into a typical WWE style match. Big spot, pause to either mug for the crowd or sell. WWE sure loves to stretch six minutes of wrestling into twelve minutes. Knight hit a top rope elbow for a nearfall but Paul hit a pair of springboard moves, the second of which was a great-looking top rope moonsault to the outside. Paul got a nearfall with a knockout punch and went to the top rope, but Knight leapt up to the top rope and hit a superplex. Paul went to his entourage for brass knux but Knight cut him off for a bit. Paul rammed Knight into the post and Machine Gun Kelly gave Paul the knux. Paul used them on the outside and went for a Buckshot Lariat, but Knight countered with his BFT finisher to win the match. Solid affair that made the crowd happy. Also Fuck Logan Paul. ***1/4
The fourth slot went to Bayley vs. Nia Jax. Nia attacked at the bell and dominated the match with her usual nondescript offense. Bayley made brief comebacks but Nia kept cutting her off. Nia went for a middle rope legdrop but Bayley moved and hit Bayley to Belly for a nearfall. Nia slammed Bayley down with a uranage and hit the An-Nia-lator for a two-count. Nia charged at Bayley but Bayley moved and Nia hit the post with her shoulder (third match on this show to use this spot), but came back after a Samoan Drop on the floor. Nia went for another An-Nia-lator but Bayley countered with a powerbomb that got the first major crowd pop of the match. Bayley hit a top rope elbow for another nearfall. Suddenly Tiffany Stratton ran down with her Money in the Bank briefcase, but Bayley cut her off immediately by knocking her off the apron. Nia pounced and hit Bayley with a powerbomb followed by another An-Nia-lator for the win. This was fine, nothing more. We're stuck with a Nia Jax title run, God help us.... **1/4
The big CM Punk-Drew McIntyre match was next and they made sure to hammer home the parallels with Bret-Taker-Shawn in 1997. Seth's ref shirt looked like Shawn's, Drew wore a long sleeveless coat like Taker, and Punk wore pink and black like Bret. Only thing is, by the end of the match Drew was 1997 Bret, because he won the match but became the third wheel. Presumably the focus now will be Punk vs. Seth, while Drew gets shoved down the card again. This started out like Bret vs. Taker with both guys arguing with Seth, but as the action spilled to the outside Seth just let everything go. The dynamic of the referee hating both guys and just wanting them to kill each other was sorta fun. Drew dominated the first half of the match or so, swinging Punk around outside and hitting some big moves back inside. Punk kept kicking out of pin attempts at one and Seth egged Drew on to do better. Drew grabbed a chair and asked Seth to turn around and let him use it, but Seth stopped him. Drew piefaced Seth, who charged at him with the chair but Drew moved and Seth almost hit Punk, a la Shawn and Bret 1997. Drew put Punk's friendship bracelet on his wrist but Punk made a comeback, hitting a bad-looking top rope elbow and locking in the Anaconda Vice. But Punk let the hold go after seeing the bracelet, allowing Drew to hit the Claymore for a nearfall. Yes, 45-year-old CM Punk let go of his submission finisher over a FRIENDSHIP BRACELET. This nonsense is right up there with Jean-Pierre Lafitte stealing Bret Hart's leather jacket "that his mother made for him." They did yet another shoulder-to-the-post spot and Punk went for GTS, but then saw the bracelet on Seth's wrist (Seth picked it up earlier to get it out of the way) and put Drew down so he could yell at Seth. Holy shit was this laughably bad "cinema." Drew hit Punk from behind but also knocked Seth down, Punk hit GTS but Rollins was late counting the pin so Drew kicked out. Punk and Seth got into an argument and Punk hit the GTS on Seth and took back the stupid bracelet but walked into a kick in the nuts from Drew, followed by the Claymore. Seth woke up in time to count the pin. This was the Temu version of Bret vs. Taker 1997. Very slow, very dumb, and the babyface looked like a total idiot. One of the worst CM Punk matches I've ever seen. I ask this all the time - why in the fuck is WWE so hot right now with drivel like this? *3/4
The World Title match was in the death spot and for the most part the crowd reflected that. Damian Priest and Gunther tried, putting together an okay bit of back-and-forth action with a lot of stiff chops and kicks; Gunther's chest was bleeding by the end. But with no real story between these two and in fact much more focus on Damian vs. Finn Balor, the eventual winner became an afterthought in his own match, something that happened in the last three bouts on this show. Priest hit a Razor's Edge on Gunther, followed by a South of Heaven, which led to the worst moment in the match. Gunther was facedown after the move and started to stir a bit, when Priest *rolled him toward the ropes* and covered him with his back to the ropes, basically an inch from the rope itself. Finn Balor then betrayed Priest by placing Gunther's foot on the bottom rope, in a spot that would've been much more dramatic if Priest hadn't put Gunther there. This looked very bad. Priest was appalled when he saw what Balor had done and tried to get at him, but Gunther locked in a choke, Priest escaped, and Gunther hit a powerbomb and went back to the choke to win the title. This was free TV-quality but certainly nowhere near SummerSlam semi-main event-level. ***
Finally it was time for the main event in which the WWE Title challenger had zero chance of walking out with the belt and Roman Reigns had a 100% chance of walking in to interfere. Cody for some reason brought his dog and stopped to have a chat with Arn Anderson before suiting up on camera, in case there wasn't enough time between these last two matches. This was Bloodline Rules, so like the WrestleMania main event everyone was kinda waiting for the bells and whistles. That's the price of conditioning your fans to only respond for run-ins and car crash spots; straight-ahead wrestling matches cease to excite them. Side note: if it's Bloodline Rules and everyone can run out whenever they want, why wouldn't the entire Bloodline just beat Cody down right at the beginning? Anyway they worked a basic back-and-forth match early on, with Solo slowing everything down Roman-style and Cody firing up every so often. Solo's offense was a greatest hits of basically every Samoan wrestler (Why does this company have every wrestler of a certain type do the same stuff?) - Samoan drop, uranage suplex, shoulder nerve hold, headbutt, etc. "This entire family has skulls composed of concrete." -Corey Graves, in 2024. We're seriously still doing the 70s racial stereotypes fifty years later? After a lot of kinda meandering back and forth Cody finally hit CrossRhodes but Tama Tonga and Tanga Loa ran out for a beatdown, hitting their old GoD finish for a nearfall. Kevin Owens ran out next but the numbers were too much. Then came Randy Orton, jogging at a pretty leisurely pace considering the urgency of the situation. Side note: Why wouldn't Orton and Owens run out together to even the odds, instead of coming out one at a time? After KO and RKO took out the GoD, Cody hit another CrossRhodes but Solo kicked out and the match was reset. Cody grabbed the ring steps and repeatedly hit Solo with them, but Solo stayed on his feet and hit a spear for a two-count. Solo leaned Cody against the steps in the corner and went for a hip attack but Cody moved and hit two CrossRhodes. Jacob Fatu ran in to prevent the third one, flattening Cody with a moonsault and rolling Solo on top of Cody for two. Fatu put Cody on the announce table and came off the top rope, injuring his leg on the landing. Seemed like Jacob and Solo were supposed to double team Cody at that point but Jacob couldn't stand, so Solo hit a top rope splash for another two-count. Cody came back and hit a top rope Oscutter, and then for some reason Roman showed up....when....Solo was down? I guess to sow doubt as to who he'd attack, but come on. Roman hit Solo with the Superman punch/spear combo and left, allowing Cody to hit one final CrossRhodes to retain. This was probably the best match on the show by default, but it was essentially the exact same match as WrestleMania, with not-as-good wrestling. For the third consecutive match the winner became an afterthought. And boy do I not care about another 6-12 months of Bloodline drama. ***3/4
So yeah, a solid main event that went too long and had the same bells and whistles as just about every WWE main event, an embarrassingly bad bit of "cinema" in the Punk-Drew match, and a whole buncha filler. The final three matches were about setting up a feud between the loser and a third party, and just about every match had that shoulder-to-the-post spot. At least no ring barricades were broken this time. Aside from SummerSlam 2020, which was porked by COVID, this has to be the weakest edition since 2010 or so. I still need it explained to me why WWE is so popular right now.
Best Match: Cody vs. Solo
Worst Match: Punk vs. Drew
What I'd Change: Leave Seth out of the Punk match and just let these two guys have a violent fight. What's so hard about that? Phil Brooks can't possibly think the work he's doing right now is better than his AEW run.
Most Disappointing Match: Punk vs. Drew was the only match with any real heat going in and it stunk.
Most Pleasant Surprise: That Solo held up his end of the main event.
Overall Rating: 6/10
Better Than WrestleMania XL?: No indeed
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