Wednesday, November 27, 2024

WWE Survivor Series 2024 Preview & Predictions

Saturday marks the 38th annual Survivor Series event, and once again the branding need not apply because Hunter's still all-in on Watered-Down WarGames.  That should be the new name of this event in fact.  


Substitute chairs, trash cans and kendo sticks for the brutality that once was WarGames (and still is AEW's Blood and Guts), and you have WWE's November PPV.  Anyway, it's once again built around the goddamn Bloodline, but now we have random special guests added!  The women's WarGames match is even thinner, as it's just Rhea vs. Liv essentially, with a buncha partners, which once again would work much better as a Survivor Series match, that's what those used to be about.  WarGames was supposed to be 4 or 5 people on each team that had a team blood feud.  The men's match is at least sorta built like that.  On the bright side, the undercard is much stronger this year than last.  But why the hell isn't Cody on this show?  Instead they have him fighting Kevin Owens again, on Saturday Night's Main Event.  Cody's title run has to be one of the most boring babyface runs ever that started out super-hot.  Once again this show is devoid of any black male wrestlers, by the way.  Hunter's never beating those allegations....

Anyway let's look at this thing....



US Championship: LA Knight vs. Shinsuke Nakamura


Christ, the way WWE has ruined one of the greatest Japanese wrestlers of all time needs to be studied.  As someone who considered the 2015 Nakamura the best wrestler in the world at that time, I don't even recognize what he's become.  Dull, ineffectual, powderpuff offense where there used to be unmatched intensity and charisma.  Fucking shameful.  Can he get the fuck outta this place and go to AEW or back to NJPW while he still has a few good years left?  Anyway, either guy could win this I suppose.  Seems early to take the belt off Knight but it would be the only title change on this show.  At the same time, Nakamura's beaten roughly nobody in the last five years or so.  Eh, I'll throw the guy a bone since no one else will.

Pick: Nakamura



Intercontinental Championship: Bron Breakker vs. Sheamus vs. Ludwig Kaiser


Ok this should actually be good.  Sheamus always works hard and brings stiff, convincing offense.  He's a good opponent for Bron.  Kaiser's the third wheel.  Bron's not losing the belt yet (even though they had him drop it to Jey Uso way prematurely).  Match could steal the show.

Pick: Bron retains




World Championship: Gunther vs. Damian Priest


I liked Gunther so much better as Intercontinental Champ.  He actually got to wrestle his style of match instead of dumbing everything down to be more "WWE style."  Since winning the World Title he hasn't come close to the stuff he did with Drew and Sheamus a couple years ago.  His SummerSlam match with Priest was middling at best and his match with Orton in Berlin was fine but pretty boring.  Let the guy be a monster again.

Pick: Gunther retains




Women's WarGames: Rhea Ripley/Bianca Belair/Iyo Sky/Bayley/Naomi vs. Liv Morgan/Rachel Rodriquez/Nia Jax/Tiffany Stratton/Candice LaRae


Seriously, this is just a random jumble of women with only the respective team leaders having a proper beef with each other.  When did Iyo Sky turn good, and where does that leave Asuka and Kairi?  Why is Nia Jax still a champion who gets TV time; I thought Triple H said it was all about talent?  Also the babyfaces have the "man advantage" so this is gonna suck.  Why can't they just give us a fucking Survivor Series match?

Pick: Babyfaces win since both women's champs are heels




Men's WarGames: Roman Reigns/CM Punk/Sami Zayn/The Usos vs. Solo Sikoa/Jacob Fatu/Bronson Reed/Tama Tonga/Tanga Loa


So wait, why is Punk helping the OG Bloodline?  Just because Paul Heyman used to manage him?  May as well bring back Ryback and Curtis Axel too.  Wouldn't Cody have made more sense, since he just teamed with Roman against Sikoa?  Why is Bronson Reed on the other team?  Just because he looks vaguely Samoan?  Why did we need fifth members of each team?  Why in the fuck are we STILL on this Bloodline shit, it's been four goddamn years.  They're now in the NWO vs. NWO Wolfpac phase.  I look forward to the Roman-Solo Fingerpoke of Doom match.  Seriously, stop nitpicking AEW's booking when you're totally fine with the creative bankruptcy going on in WWE right now.  "But money!"  Save it, don't care.  And I care even less about Roman and his dumbass family drama at this point.  Why should I be cheering Roman exactly?  Because his cousin took over the heel stable that I've been booing for four years?  Yeah how'd that work out when The Rock took over the Nation from Faarooq?  Talk about an unearned babyface turn...  Oh, and Corporate Punk still sucks.  Match should be fine like the last two years of this - competently worked, sanitized WarGames with an overuse of stupid weapons.  Just don't use any glass, Phil might have a meltdown.

Pick: Heel Bloodline probably wins to set up Roman vs. Solo one-on-one, god help us.


How is it I cared more about Vince's pre-COVID Survivor Series shows than I do about Triple H's "Best Era Ever" version?  When Hunter took over the reins I was actually really excited to see him take the Survivor Series concept seriously.  And then he threw it away completely.  


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