It's February, er, March and that means it's time once again for WWE Elimination Chamber, the annual event where the world championship NOT being defended against the Royal Rumble winner gets a top contender for WrestleMania.
Like Hell in a Cell, the Chamber was once one of WWE's most brutal gimmick matches, and like the Cell it was rather defanged during the PG era. It almost seems redundant to have this match on the same PPV calendar as WarGames given how influenced by the latter was its inception, but whatever. There have been some great Chamber matches over the years and some not-so-great ones (2002 I'm looking in your general direction), but it's usually a moderately enjoyable 35 minutes. Having two on one show is taxing though, just like WarGames and the Rumble.
This year's lineup is only four bouts and on paper it's a decent enough slate. Let's take a look.
Tiffany Stratton & Trish Stratus vs. Nia Jax & Candice LaRae
Okay I'm not sure why this is on here as it smacks of "free TV match," but here we are. I'll keep saying it every time she's featured on a PPV, but if Triple H's decisions around who gets included on PPVs is all about talent regardless of ethnicity, then what in the blue fuck is Nia Jax doing on this show? She stinks, period. I don't imagine they brought Trish back to team with Tiffany just for them to lose, so they're my pick.
Pick: Trishany Strattonus
Women's Elimination Chamber: Bianca Belair vs. Liv Morgan vs. Naomi vs. Bayley vs. Roxanne Perez vs. Alexa Bliss
Alright, so Tiffany is defending her title against Charlotte Flair at 'Mania, thus the winner of this one gets Rhea Ripley. Well that narrows this field down to.....one. They aren't doing Rhea vs. Liv again, that feud's played way the fuck out, and Naomi, Roxanne and Alexa would be poor choices for a WrestleMania title match. Bayley is always a possibility but she just had her big 'Mania moment last year. So that leaves Bianca, and a pairing I've been waiting to see at WrestleMania since 2021 when she and Rhea were the last two in the Rumble match. Now that I'd be excited for. I'm guessing that will ultimately lead to Bianca vs. Jade.
Pick: Bianca
Unsanctioned Match: Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn
Speaking of feuds that have been played the fuck out, Kevin and Sami are at it yet again. These two have been alternating between friends and enemies for a decade and even beyond if you count their pre-WWE careers. It's a good thing they're so good at fighting each other. We saw them wrestle at 'Mania in 2021 in a match that got very much shortchanged for time, but all the way back in 2016 they had a true banger at Payback. This being an unsanctioned match I'm hoping WWE will relax their stupid no-blood rule and just let these guys get brutal. If this plays out like it should, it ought to easily steal the show. Not sure if the plan for 'Mania is an even more blood-soaked rematch but if so I won't be sad.
Pick: I think Owens takes this one
Men's Elimination Chamber: John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Seth Rollins vs. Logan Paul vs. Damian Priest
Lots of good big-match talent in this one, so it should be a fine Chamber match. The winner will be in the actual WrestleMania main event (because let's be honest, Gunther vs. Jey Uso ain't the big match this year). Punk and Seth are obviously facing each other (plus maybe Roman) at 'Mania so neither of them is winning this, Drew is pretty damaged goods at this point; he's a gatekeeper who rarely wins the big one anymore, Damian is a second-tier guy, and Logan is a special attraction. The big story is John Cena and his quest for the elusive 17th world championship in his retirement year. There is a major question mark in the form of Dwayne Johnson, who could upend all the top 'Mania plans if he decides he wants in on the action, but barring that I'd say Cena is a mortal lock.
Pick: John Cena
There's your lineup, and it should be a sub-three-hour show unless it's so monumentally padded with ads and nonsense. Not a blowaway card but it oughta be easy to sit through anyway.
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